One of the worst inventions of this year comes out of Japan. It is a company in Japan, where every morning you get to work and they have special software. And the software is used for analyzing your smile and tells you whether your smile is cheerful enough. And if you are not cheerful enough, you have to smile wider.
2009 will probably not be remembered as the year as the gas-mask bra was invented. But it was. Someone invented a bra that doubles as not one gas-mask but two gas-masks. And the event that you are surprised by a gas attacker when you are wearing a lingerie.
One of my least favorite inventions this year is something I’m calling the Jane Austen Monster Mashup Novel. It began with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which was a funny idea for about thirty seconds. But it has been followed by a tidal wave of knockoffs appear.
Another of our worst inventions of the year comes out of England. In England, they changed the way that standardized tests are graded. Apparently, too much work for humans to actually read the essays that students wrote. So instead they are having them graded by computers. Computers read the essays, tell you if the writings are good. No human ever sees them. I don’t see how that could be a good idea.
The last of our worst inventions of 2009 has to do with the garments known as the sleeved blanket or the Snuggie. Now Snuggies are not a new invention for 2009, but this was the year that we invented Sunggies for dogs. Now, as you can see, the Snuggie for humans. It’s not a dignified look. My question for you is, who would do this to a dog? Who would do that?