19. Dreaming he’s back at Public Service Company. ASHAMED OF HIM. JEFF. IN 65-0711
68 Coming back from Africa the other day, I kinda tired. You see, it's just it's nighttime there now, and you have to turn around. And then time I got turned around, I come back again. We had a wonderful trip, hunting trip, one of the best I ever had in my life. Then Billy's got some pictures, maybe he'd have a time he can show it somewhere, and show you the trip.
I had a dream. I'm always dreaming of being back at that Public Service Company somehow. So I--I thought I was kind of ratting on the job; I was supposed... They just let me have my own way, and I thought I'd... Instead of going out and walking the lines or collecting the bills, or something I was supposed to do, I just said, "Well, I'm my own boss." I just went swimming. And I got down there and took off my--these clothes, and put on my swimming clothes. I was by myself. And I thought, "Say, this ain't right, the company... This is daytime; the company is paying me for this time." Thought, "That's strange."
And then I thought, "Well, the money I collected on the route..." I had both the patrol and the route mixed together, and I said, "Well, the money I collected, I've done something, roving around here; I've lost all my tickets; and I got their money and my money mixed together. Now, how will I know who paid the bills?" I thought, "Just because I wasn't paying any attention."
I thought, "That's not right. There's only one thing for me to do, that's go back to my superintendent and tell him." That was Don Willis. I said, "Don, I lost those tickets. Now, here's all the money I got, and here's their money together. Leave it here at the cashier. And the people, when they come in, they'll have a receipt that I received the bill."
Probably people setting right here that (I--I... I know there is.)--that I collected from them in--in the days, and I'd... And I'd give a receipt. You know, it was only ten percent if you let your bill run over. And maybe, a dollar and a half, be fifteen cents over. A lot of them people lived... We just liked to get together and talk, and they'd just let their bill go, wanting me come talk to them awhile. That was... Give fifteen cents, you know, just to set down and talk a little while, to collect their bill. So it got it ragged; they just got so many bills I couldn't collect them.
Well, I thought that's the only way I could do it. And I woke up.
The place where we live, Sister Larson. I don't think she's here. She's been very nice to us; and she don't like for me to say that. But she's a very fine lady, and we've been living in her rooms. She's got two apartments, small apartments together; we rented them both. And wife and I sleep over here in--in the other apartment where I kind of receive the people when I can, and there's a couple of little twin beds in there.
I woke up. She wasn't awake yet. And after while she woke up. And I waved over at her, and she looked back, batted her eyes a few times. I said, "You sleep good?"
She said, "Nope."
And I said, "I had the awfullest dream. I was back at that Public Service Company again." I said, "What have I done?"
I remember as a little boy, or a young man, I'd walked all those lines at Salem, Indiana, different... I'd go in buy a--a breakfast, maybe a bowl of oats. In that hot sun and everything, it's... I'd--it'd just make me sick to eat breakfast. I'd turn in ten cents on my petty cash. The superintendent come down and said--said, "You know what they said in the--in the meeting? 'Who is that knothead that would turn in ten cents for breakfast?' Said, "You ought to at least turn in fifty cents." Now, all of you know, fifty cents was a big breakfast in them days.
And I said, "Well, I don't eat that much."
He said, "Well, the rest of them turns in fifty cents. You ought to turn in fifty cents."
I said, "Well, I don't use it."
Said, "Turn it in anyhow." That was my superintendent.
Well, I thought, "Well, what can I do? I have to charge fifty cents, and I eat ten cents." So I'd go out on the street and get some little kids that didn't have no breakfast, and get them forty-cents worth of breakfast.
So then I thought, "Well, what could I... Maybe that's what He holds against me."
And I remember, here not long ago, they come through on the patrol, tore up that back yard back there, and said, "Turn in your bill." You know they got patrol rights, but they have to pay for damage.
I just wrote back and said, "You don't owe nothing." I thought, "That'll pay for them forty-cents. Maybe I've spent twenty or thirty dollars during that time, giving it to kids. Maybe that'll do it." Kept on dreaming.
Then I had a big tree out there, the kids played under it, and the patrol... Now, they patrol in a helicopter. So he come in and said, "Billy, how about cutting that tree out?"
I said, "No, don't cut it. We're going to trim it." I said, "Brother Wood and I are going to trim it."
Said, "Well, I'll just have the man come by and trim it."
I said, "Now, don't cut it."
He said, "I won't cut it."
I went off on a trip. When I come back, she was cut plumb on the ground. Then I had a lawsuit coming. You see? I said, "Well, Lord, this will clear it up, what I owed." So I struck that off, that was all right, just let it go. Well, I still dreamed it.
82 When I got up the other morning, I said, "Well..." The first thing we do of a morning when we get up is pray together, then pray when we go to bed at night. And then after she went on over to get the kiddies' breakfast, I started to pray. I said, "Lord, I must have been an awful guy. What have I done in life, that I--I can't get away from that Public Service Company?"
I went in and took a bath, come back out. Something just seemed to say to me, "Maybe I'm ratting on His job." I thought, "Here's about five years I ain't done nothing, just waiting on Him."
Standing up there the other day. They built us a new home up there, and Brother Mosley come down, was talking about it. I said, "That's just a little gift from my Father." He started crying. I said, "You see, He said, 'If you'll leave your homes, houses, lands, fathers, mothers, I'll give you houses, lands, fathers, mothers, and hundredfold in this life, and Eternal Life to come.'" I said, "See, I had to leave the Tabernacle that I love so dearly. My home that the Lord give me up there, had to leave it. He just give me this one back." I said, "He's wonderful. You see?" And he started crying.
Well, I--I said, "I had to come out here and separate myself, come to this desert." And I thought, "Wonder why God bring me to a desert, out here where there's nothing but scorpions and Gila monsters?"
And it's not only a desert; is it hot, but it's spiritually a desert. Oh, my. There's no spiritual life at all in the churches, they're against... Why, you never seen such in your life. We don't even have a church to go to or nothing. And then when... The people almost perish spiritually. I noticed it in the people that come out there, see the differences in them, watching it.
And so you stay under the Spirit of God; your life becomes sweet, tender, like water brings this grass and soft buds. If... This grass in Arizona wouldn't grow; these trees would be cactus, them leaves just wind up and make stickery. That's the way it is when you get dry around the church, everybody's sticking one another, you know, and just... See? You got to have soft waters of rain soften you up, and make leaves, and shade for the pilgrim that passes by.
And so something said to me, "Maybe you're ratting on God's job." So I prayed for a vision.
And Meda just got me a new Bible, and Brother--Brother Brown from up in Ohio got me a new Bible, both of them at the same time, at Christmas. I went and got one of the new Bibles. I said, "Lord, in the days gone by, You had a Urim and Thummim."
Now, listen, let me say this. 'Course, they're not... This is not taping this meeting, the reason I'm ask--saying this. Let me say: don't do this. It's not a good thing.
But I said, "Lord, it used to be, when a dreamer dreamed a dream, that they took it down to the Urim and Thummim and told it. And if the--if the Urim and Thummim flashed the lights back, a supernatural Light, the dream was true." I said, "But that priesthood and that Urim and Thummim's done away with. Your Bible is the Urim and Thummim now; Lord, may I never do this again. I've asked You and prayed to You to give me a vision, speak to me about why am I dreaming these dreams. What have I done? If I've harmed, if I've done anything to any person in the world, let me know. I'll--I'll--I'll go make it right. If I owe the Public Service Company, if I done something wrong to them or any other person, if I done something wrong to You, let me know. I--I want to make it right."
Let's make it right now. Don't wait till after while, it may be too late. Let's do it now.
And I said, "Surely, there's something in this Word of God, from Genesis to Revelations, that some character in there that You dealt with, would be on the same basis that would be my question. If somebody done something, and--and You got after him about it, then let me turn to that place in the Bible. And if somebody, whatever they done, it'll lean my way. Where I've done wrong, or something You want me to do, or haven't done, let me see some character in the Bible like that."
And I closed my eyes, just let the Bible fall open, put my finger on a Scripture, Genesis 24:7, Eliezer, Abraham's faithful servant, the model servant of the Bible, being sent to hunt the bride for Isaac. Chills run over me. Sure, that's my... That's right with the rest of my message, pulling out the Bride.
He said, "Swear that you'll not take a bride out of these, but go to my own people."
He said, "What if the woman won't come with me?"
Said, "Then you're free of this oath." He said, "And the God will--of heaven will send His Angel before you to direct you." He went right straight out and begin praying, and he met the beautiful Rebekah that become the bride of Isaac.
Just a perfect Message back to the Word. "Go get that Bride." That's a duty. That's what I'm here for. That's what I'm trying to do, is call out a Bride.
98 Remember in California there, that interview of the Bride, preview, I had it here. How that Bride come up first, and seen Her go by. Then here come Miss America, Miss Asia, and all, oh, the awfullest looking thing. And then the same Bride passed by again. One of them got out of step, and I was getting Her back in step; two of them, it was. And that's what I was supposed to do, keep that Bride in step, hunt that man.
I said, "God, I'm going back home, renew my vows again, and start out anew." So that's what we're planning on doing; that's what I'm here for.