collected by Roger Fritz
COLLECTED IN 1986
Easy does it.
Support your right to arm bears.
Feel safe tonight. Sleep with a cop.
Please tailgate. I need the money.
A clean car is a sign of a sick mind.
It's not pretty being easy.
I brake for railroad crossings.
Eat right, stay fit, and die anyway.
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.
I brake for Artesians.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
we can risk nuclear war
, we can risk disarmament.
Support wildlife. Throw a party.
I brake for garage sales.
Love is contagious. Be a carrier.
Be patient. God isn't finished with me yet.
I brake for unicorns.
The gas war is over. Gas won.
You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.
Life is a beach.
Save the whales.
I brake for hallucinations.
The parts falling off this car are of finest British quality.
I brake for no apparent reason.
One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
Are we having fun yet?
I swerve for butterflies.
This is not an abandoned car.
I brake for coffee.
ET: phone home.
Caution: do not enter without fresh air supply.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys
My other car is a Porsche.
You can't meet God face to face till you have a face.
You are here.
This car is a transistorized Cadillac.
Here today, gone to Maui.
My other car is a piece of shit, too.
used to be wine
, women and song. Now it's beer, the old lady
When God created men, she was only joking.
Scottie, beam me up.
Aerobic dancing is a kick.
Musicians duet better.
Expect a miracle. Kiss a frog.
Heaven is beautiful this time of year.
Keep grandma off the streets.
Born to shop.
Heaven didn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
I like the simple things in life. Men.
My other car is up my nose.
I brake for tailgaters.
Everyone has to believe in something. I believe I'll have
Child on board.
Hate you. Hate Kansas.
Taking the dog
Save the humans.
Frogs have it made. They eat what bugs them.
Teddy bear on board.
My other car is a motorcycle.
Radio people do it with frequency.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Caution: I know karati. And seven other Chinese words.
Green light: go. Red light: stop. Yellow light: go real fast.
Next time you feel perfect, try walking on water.
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Aliveness comes from within.
Turn it over.
If you can't stop, smile as you go down.
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.
Try it. You'll like it.
going to smoke
, please tell me where to send the ashes.
If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.
Hug your kids at home and belt them in the car.
The penguins are back.
Powered by pineapples.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
People who think they have it together really irritate those
of us who do.
I've done so much for so long with so little that I can now do
anything with nothing.
My other car is a hang glider.
Enough is enough.
Go for it.
I'd rather eat barbed wire than listen to disco.
Contractors are the chains. Bidders are the links.
bidder is the weakest link.
I'm fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.
Have you tugged your kite today?
186,000 miles a second. It's not just a good idea. Its the law.
If you're walking on thin ice, you might as well dance.
Don't steal from the government. They don't like competition.
Einstein was born at home.
Wars don't show who's right, only who's left.
Child in trunk.
Guilt without sex.
Nobody for president.
Who cares who's on board.
A day without sex is like a day without sunshine.
Ex-husband in trunk.
I'm going crazy. Wanna come along?
Nobody on board.
Caution: I drive like you do.
I brake for fungus.
Bureaucracy: the science of turning energy into solid matter.
Virgo on board.
Minds, like parachutes, only work when they're open.
I brake for the hell of it.
Alien on board.
Seen on a Mercedez: "My other car is a Pinto."
think education is expensive
, try ignorance.
Generic bumper sticker.
Candy is dandy, but sex doesn't rot your teeth.
Stop organized crime. Destroy the IRS.
You're the kind of person I could fall madly in bed with.
Jesus saves. Moses invests. Rajneesh spends.
Chocolate on board.
Birth is fatal.
I brake for truffles.
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