Beer bowl III: bauhaus of pain



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BEER BOWL III: BAUHAUS OF PAIN

University of South Florida, March 16, 2003

Questions by Valencia Community College (Adam, Amy, Taz, Angelina, and Jamie) with additions by Rob Fernandez and Steve Ohm.
TOSSUPS
1. Published by American Media Consumer Entertainment Inc. in Boca Raton Florida, its current double issue is a steal at the price of $2.79. Inside you can read about the mummified head of Hitler and Saddam Hussein’s secret life as a transvestite gay porn connoisseur. FTP name this outrageous grocery store check out line tabloid that brought you the space alien who endorsed Dubya for president and Bat Boy.

ANSWER: Weekly World News


2. His nemesis was Bill Russell of the Boston Celtics. "Nobody roots for Goliath” said this man in response to the sports writers working hard to cut this 6’6” guard down to size. The sports writers unfairly defined him by his principal weakness – those free throws that clanked off the rim at a rate of about five and a half per game -during the 1960-61 season. He led the league in assists in 1968 with 702. FTP name this man that holds records like 50.4 points per game average in the 1961-62 season, a 55-rebound game against the Celtics, a 100-point game against the Knicks on March 2,1962, and sleeping with 20,000 groupies.

ANSWER: Wilt Chamberlain


3. She was a surprise baby, born to her parents in 1988. But she somehow managed to age four years over a summer hiatus to be played by the horridly annoying Ashley Johnson. One significant plotline was when her older brother Mike became romantically involved with her nanny Julie Costello. FTP, name this forgotten child, the youngest Seaver sibling on the sitcom Growing Pains.

ANSWER: Chrissy Seaver


4. His second film was the little noticed crime comedy Bait. He failed to make "a Taxi Driver for the '90s" with his directorial debut, The Replacement Killers. He used his street cred to convince real drug dealers to appear in his most acclaimed film, Training Day. FTP, name the director of the current film Tears of the Sun.

Answer: Antoine Fuqua


5. Formed as the Metropolis Blues Quartet in Surrey, they followed the Rolling Stones as the regular band at London's Crawdaddy Club. Ditching their blues/jazz mix for a more pop style with the hit "For Your Love" alienated their guitarist, who left for John Mayall's Bluesbreakers. With a new guitarist from The Tridents, they produced the psychedelic hit "Shapes of Things", but eventually he quit too and formed an eponymous band. They would finally attain stardom after a name change. FTP, name this band which at times included Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, and Jimmy Page, the forerunner of Led Zeppelin.

ANSWER: the Yardbirds


6. He attended South Bend Clay High School in Indiana. He was a three-year letterman as a quarterback at the University of Dayton, graduating in 1985 with a degree in communications. He was a wide receivers coach for University of Pittsburgh in 1991. He spent 1995-1997 as offensive coordinator for the Philadelphia Eagles prior to his four seasons with the Oakland Raiders. FTP, name the head coach of the super bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers?

Answer: Jon Gruden


7. 2003 is the 45 anniversary of this resident of 32 Windsor St. created by Michael Bond, though he's still nine years old. He left his aunt Lucy in darkest Peru and was found by at the station by the Brown family with a note on his sleeve that said, "Please look after this bear, Thank you." FTP name marmalade-loving bear who wears wellington boots, a duffle coat, and a big floppy red hat.

ANSWER: Paddington Bear


8. Born Richard Bancroft in 1950, he was orphaned at age 5. His aliases have included Alvin Brenner and Morrison Holmes. As an army lieutenant in Vietnam, he ran the illegal DMV Tennis and Racquet Club. He eventually joined the Fifth Special Forces Group. Often seen in a red and white Corvette, FTP name this con man and master of disguise, a member of the A-Team played by Dirk Benedict.

ANSWER: Templeton Peck. (Accept Face or Face man)


9. They were created by Mattel and American Greeting Cards and they only revealed themselves to two children, Bonnie and Billy. With characters like Pancake, Party, Puzzle, Puffball, and Putter these adorable creatures could pull anything from hammers to elephants out of their pouches. FTP, name these creatures who could also flip into their pouches to become balls of fur.

ANSWER: Popples


10. When Kathryn Merteuil gets dumped by Court Reynolds for the innocent Celice Caldwell, she plots revenge. Sebastian Valmont has his eyes on the new headmaster's daughter, Annette Hargrove, who wrote an article for Seventeen vowing to keep her virginity. A wager is made: if Sebastian can't get Annette to break her vow, she gets his classic car, and if he does, he gets Kathryn too and can put it anywhere. Remember to hide your cocaine in the crucifix and FTP name this movie starring Selma Blair, Ryan Philippe, Reese Witherspoon, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, a teen version of Dangerous Liasons.

ANSWER: Cruel Intentions


11. He won the 1966 Heisman Trophy. Twenty years later he was named to the National Collegiate Football Hall of Fame . As the first-round pick of the 49ers in the 1967 NFL draft, he played quarterback for San Francisco from 1967-1975 and for Tampa Bay in 1976.He began coaching his alma mater following the completion of his career in the NFL. FTP, name the current head coach of the Washington Redskins.

Answer: Steve Spurrier


12. When the writer of this song walked out on his band in August 1968, he spent a week on Peter Sellers' yacht. There, the captain regaled him with tales of the title creatures, who gather stones and shiny objects to create the title location. Only the second song the author wrote for his band, it tells of a place near a cave in the shade where "we would be so happy, you and me, no one there to tell us what to do. I'd like to be under the sea." FTP, name this Ringo Starr song about life underwater, track 5 on Abbey Road.

ANSWER: Octopus's Garden


13. They made their first appearance in Adventure Comics 306 in March of 1963. Mostly noted for making cameo appearance, they even teamed up with Superman in DC Comics Presents number 60 in July 1983. With a base of operations in a mountain cave just outside of Metropolis, their founding members were Stone Boy, Night Girl, Polar Boy, Fire Lad, and Chlorophyll Kid. FTP, name this 30th century super group whose members couldn't quite make it into the Legion of Super Heroes.

ANSWER: The Legion of Substitute Heroes


14. Starting in 1969, it added categories for rap and hip-hop in 1991, but didn’t have enough eligible entries for the rap album of the year award in 1994 or 95. Last year's song of the year was "I can only imagine," written by Bart Millard and performed by his band Mercy Me. Featuring nominees such as Jars of Clay, Michael W. Smith, and Sixpence None The Richer, CeCe Winans and Steven Curtis Chapman will host the 34th annual edition of the show on April 25th. FTP, what is this Gospel Music Association show that presents awards for top Christian music artists?

ANSWER: The Dove Awards


15. He was incorrectly included as a member of G.I. Joe on page 10 of The G.I. Joe Order Of Battle Issue #2. He has a penchant for stealing turtle food and makes his money by being a leg breaker for a second rate loan shark when he's not in the ring. FTP name the boxer who replaced Mac Lee Green in the legendary 1976 Bicentennial fight against Apollo Creed.

ANSWER: Rocky Balboa


16. Founded on the 13th of December 1973, this groups web site claims that they have spread rapidly in French speaking countries in Europe, Africa and the Americas. Begun by former race car driver Claude Vorilhon after a meeting that day with Yavneh, a member of the Elohim. FTP, name this group that claimed responsibility for Eve, a baby who probably isn't the first human clone.

ANSWER: the Raelians


17. She was a member of the Unicorns in junior high with her best friend Lila Fowler. Though she’s dated such guys as Bruce Patman but her true love Sam Woodruff is killed in a car accident when her sister drives drunk. Portrayed by Brittany Daniel in the television series, FTP, who is this red Fiat driving hussy, the twin sister of Elizabeth in Francine Pascal’s compelling series Sweet Valley High?

ANSWER: Jessica Wakefield


18. David Hasselhoff’s was leather while Ricky Schroeder wore a differently colored one every day. The ribbed cuffs guaranteed your sleeves wouldn’t fall when fastened at mid-forearm and your flipped-up polo shirt didn’t have to compete with this collarless garment. FTP name this article of clothing, available in colors from teal blue to red, with an exclusive name.

ANSWER: Members Only jackets


19. This team's owner has discontinued the production of all of its retro style jerseys. This move is understandable as the team had a record of 101–226–1 while wearing the old style compared to a record of 65–40 in the new uniforms. The new apparel as well as the new winning attitude was brought in by the new team owner, despite initially pissing off everyone in town by renaming the stadium after his restaurant chain, Houlihan's. FTP, name this NFL team owned by Malcolm Glazer, the current Super Bowl Champions.

ANSWER: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (accept Tampa Bay, Bucs, Buccaneers Etc.)


20 All he wants is a nice cup of Cappuccino. His real name is Ed and he just gets out of a ten-year stint at Sing Sing. His nickname came from a saying that describes a cold wind from the east, and the river that passes by his birthplace of Hoboken. He is threatened with more jail time if he does not work for the Mayflower family, so he steals the Horse statue of Da Vinci. FTP name this movie that starred Andy McDowell, Danny Aiello, and Bruce Wills as the singing and dancing title cat burglar.

ANSWER: Hudson Hawk.


21. Invented by Garnet Carter of Chattanooga in 1926 to bolster his new attraction, Rock City, this game took off in the 1930s as urbanites could pretend to be Bobby Jones on top of skyscrapers. For ten points, name the sport of windmills and water wheels.

ANSWER: Miniature golf


22. He returned to America last year to rebuild his finances after spending his life savings to help bring peace to his war torn homeland. He first played basketball at age 18 and chipped his teeth on the rim on his first dunk attempt. You may have last seen him during his one game minor league hockey career or taking on William the Refrigerator Perry on Celebrity boxing. FTP name this Sudanese 7’7 former NBA player.

ANSWER: Manute Bol


23. During World War I the Chasseurs Alpins, were well-known French soldiers. They gained attention when their unique training and alpine knowledge was counted upon to break the stalemate of trench warfare in their native region of the French Alps. FTP, name these soldiers, also name of the mascot of Duke University?

Answer: Blue Devils



BEER BOWL III: BAUHAUS OF PAIN

University of South Florida, March 16, 2003

Questions by Valencia Community College (Adam, Amy, Taz, Angelina, and Jamie) with additions by Steve Ohm.
Bonuses
1. FTPE name the infomercial item from the description of it from AsSeenOnTV.com.

A. Using the suction power of your vacuum cleaner, it draws the hair evenly into the recessed blades and cuts it precisely. The results should be a refreshing haircut. 



  1. Flowbee Precision Haircutting System

B. Perfect for anywhere you want to remove hair, simply spray on the area desired, wait a few minutes and wipe away unwanted hair. Stop shaving, tweezing and waxing and remain “hair-free” for up to six weeks.

  1. EPIL-STOP & SPRAY

C. Its the amazing 6-in-1 kitchen utensil that replaces the clutter in your kitchen. Its unique design forms around the food and takes the shape of whatever you're lifting - eggs, potatoes, and even odd shaped pieces of meat on the grill or on the stovetop! It is like an extra set of hands in the kitchen!

  1. Chef Wizard

2. Given the officiating screw job in sports provide the desired information for the stated number of points.

A. This team was screwed out of last year’s National Championship because of a pass interference call after the Fiesta Bowl had ended


  1. University of Miami or Hurricanes

B. For 5 points each name the city and year of the Olympics in which the U.S. basketball team was screwed out of the gold medal after those damn Russian commies got three chances to score the final basket.

  1. 1972, Munich

C. For 5 points each name the members of the figure skating duo who were robbed of their gold medals during the 2002 Winter Olympics by a corrupt French judge, but were later awarded gold medals of their own after international outrage.

  1. Jamie Sale and David Pelletier

3. Name the following TV movies from descriptions FTPE.

A. Helen Hunt plays Lizzie Eaton who gets hooked on drugs offered to her by Charles Lucia, causing her to freak out and jump out of window in this 1981 classic starring Jean Stapleton as her clueless mom.

A. Angel Dusted

B. Kirsten Dunst stars as unhappy Tina Spangler who gets knocked up in this Lifetime gem. Park Overall of Empty Nest fame stars as the god-awful mother.

A. Fifteen and Pregnant

C. Another priceless Lifetime movie stars Meredith Baxter in the role of psycho-mom Betty Broderick who kills her ex-husband and his new wife after he leaves her. Inspired by actual events, it once was played three times a week on the Lifetime network.


  1. A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story

4. We all remember the lovely early nineties sitcoms on Fox. For ten points each name three of Amy’s favorite childhood shows.

1. Animal, Angel, Wimp and Genius were the four parts battling for control of aspiring writers actions in this show that ran from 1991 to 1994.

A. Herman’s Head

2. And what the hell was Fox thinking canceling this classic show starring Chris Elliot as a 30-year-old paperboy/loser? REM’s “Stand” was by far the best intro into any television show ever.

A. Get a Life

3. Despite being an obvious rip-off Ferris Bueller, this TV show starring the title character and his friends Mikey Randall and Jerry Steiner as well as his bitch little sister Shelly was a Sunday night bright spot.


  1. Parker Lewis Can’t Lose

5. Amateur videos are so great. FTP each name these rock stars caught on tape.


A.This drummer for Motley Crue’s video was everywhere in 1999. Too bad most of it is boring vacation video.

A. Tommy Lee

B. Another member of the randy Motley Crue, he was caught on tape with Janine Lindemulder in her only boy/girl scenes.

A. Vince Neil

C. This Poison frontman was the other rock star to be caught on tape with Pamela Anderson.

A: Brett Michaels


6. Name these establishments in Diagon Alley, FTPE.
10- Goblins staff this bank where wizard money is held.

Answer: Gringotts Bank

10- This is where you can buy robes for all occasions.

Answer: Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions

10- You can purchase your wands here, makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC.

Answer: Ollivanders,


7. 40-30-20-10-1 name the movie.

40) It appeared in theaters.

30) Sandy McCallum plays the President of the United Provinces of America, who rules the country from overseas in the Presidential Palace in Beijing.

20) It features one of Sylvester Stalone's earliest roles, as Machine Gun Joe Viterbo

10) David Carradine plays Frankenstein in this movie about race where drivers scored points by running people over.


  1. It features a Death Race and takes place in the year 2000.




  1. Death Race 2000

8. Trash isn't just about testosterone-laden stuff like sports or action movies, it's also about prepubescent literature for girls. Test your knowledge by naming the five ORIGINAL members of the Baby-sitters Club. Remember, the originals, so no Jessi or Mallory shit. You'll five points each and a bonus five for getting them all. Last names are not required since I have no idea what they are.


A. Stacy, Claudia, Kristy, Mary Ann, Dawn
9. To make up for that last bonus, her is some testosterone. Given the name of a sports video game name the player on the cover FTPE

A. Sega Football 94 A. Joe Montana

B. NBA Live 2001 A. Kevin Garnet

C. Triple Play 2000 A. Sammy Sosa


10. FTPE, answer these questions about the tv show starring that lovely angular faced beauty Jennifer Garner, Alias.

A. This is the show’s protagonist, an undercover agent for the CIA.

A. Sydney Bristow

B. This is her fiancée, who was killed in the first episode.

A Danny

C. Name her mother, a Russian spy who faked loving her dad just to infiltrate the government, who later faked her own death.

A. Irina or Laura
11. FTPE, name the following from what is possibly the best movie of 1988 (*snicker*), Coming to America.

A. When Prince Akeem and Semmi first come to Queens, they are forced to do janitorial work in this fast food restaurant, suspiciously similar to McDonalds.

A McDowell’s (home of the "Big Mic")

B. Akeem falls for this daughter of elder daughter of Cleo McDowell.

A. Lisa

C. Unfortunately Lisa is dating Derek, heir to a fortune thanks to this hair product.

A Soul-Glo
12. FTPE, name the crappy songs from lyrics FTP or for 5 if you need the artist.
10- You and I got something

But it’s all and then it’s nothing to me


And I got my defenses


When it comes to your intentions for me

And we wake up in the breakdown

Of the things we never thought we could be

5- Goo Goo Dolls

Answer: Here is Gone
10- The guy who put his hands on you

Has got nothing to do with me

And the bruises that you feel will heal

And I hope you will come around


5- Third Eye Blind

Answer: Wounded



10- What you want


What you got

Live your life in a crawl space

Help you out

But you don’t

5- Matchbox 20

Answer: Feel


13. Any dumb ass knows who Ronald McDonald is, so FTPE name these less prominent fast food pitchmen.

A. Described in the commercial featuring him as “an iron man and a Jared fan” this fire fighter lost 130 pounds by eating at Subway.



  1. Clay Henry

B. Created in late 1970, this friend of Ronal McDonald presided over McDonaldland, but never cleaned up the ugly crime problem caused by the Hamburglar and over the last decade has rarely been seen carrying out the duties of his elected office.

  1. Mayor McCheese

C. Debuting on May 12 of 2000 this mischievous puppet hung out with the Dominos Pizza delivery team, but was never able to capture the magic of Dominoes Noid campaign nearly a decade earlier.

Bad Andy
14. 40-30-20-10-1 Name the magazine

40- You can find it at a newsstand.

(30pts) Started in 1964 as a skin divers guide to the Caribbean

(20pts) In 1996 it puts African American woman on the cover for the first time in its history.

(10pts) In recent years has used such gimmicks as 3-D and body paint issues.

1- It's a special issue of Sports Illustrated featuring models wearing swimsuits.

A. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
15. Name these porn stars who have all recently appeared in Vivid’s series, Where the Boy’s Aren’t.

A. This woman has appeared in I Love Lesbians #’s 1 and 10 as well, Cum One Cum All and is a frequent guest on Howard Stern.

A. Jenna Jameson

B. The most famous Asian porn star after Kobe Tai, she has appeared in her own episode of Amazing Asians as well as Bangkok Boobarella and dropped out of Rutgers to pursue her career in adult entertainment.

A Asia Carrera

C. Getting her start in Fresh Meat #1 she has appeared in the Stardust series. Name this porn star with a gentle name.

A. Jenteal
16. Given a comic strip, name its creator FFPE.

[5] Family Circus A: Bil Keane

[5] Fred Basset A: Alex Graham

[5] Beetle Bailey A: Mort Walker

[5] Fox Trot A: Bill Amend

[5] Cathy A: Cathy Guisewite

[5] The Boondocks A: Aaron McGruder
17. I love Beaches and you should too, goddammit. Answer the following about Better Midler FTPE.

1. Bette acquired this moniker while performing for towel-clad homosexuals in the New York bathhouses. The nickname remains to this day.

A. The Divine Miss M

2. Bette performed a duet with Mick Jagger on her cover of this Stones’ song, which is featured on her No Frills album.

A. Beast of Burden

3. In addition to being Coolest Straight Person alive by the Advocate, she also won a Golden Globe for her role as Janis Joplin-esque rock singer with a very annoying title song.

A The Rose
18. Yo Joe! Identify these villains of the G.I. Joe team FTSNOP.
10- This metal-faced villain provided armaments for COBRA.

ANSWER: Destro

10 -A sub unit of COBRA are these hellions which include Buzzer, Ripper, Torch, and of course Zartan.

ANSWER: The Drednoks

[5,5]- These twins share a psychic link and head COBRA's Crimson Guard.

ANSWERS: Tomax and Xamot


19. 40-30-20-10-1 name the band.
40- They suck ass.

30- They were formed by the Panozzo brothers and their keyboard-playing friend in Chicago in the late 60s and were first called the Tradewinds.

20- Their albums include The Serpent is Rising, Man of Miracles, Equinox and Pieces of Eight.

10- Hits by this band include "Grand Illusion," "Lady," "Come Sail Away," "Blue Collar Man," and "Mr. Roboto."

5- They are named after a river in the underworld of Greek myth.


  1. It's Styx, stupid!

ANSWER: Styx
20. For 5 points each or 30 for all name the Batman movie given the man who played Batman

A. George Clooney A. Batman and Robin

B. Both Michael Keaton movies A. Batman and Batman Returns

C. Val Kilmer A. Batman Forever


21. The vineyards in the green, fertile valley of Cognac lie in six well-defined areas roughly laid out in concentric circles. For 5 pts each name them.

  1. Grande Champagne, Petite Champagne, Borderies, Fins Bois, Bons Bois, Bois Ordinaires.

22. In the Parker Brothers game Risk, each card (other than a joker) has one of three types of battle forces on it. FTP name them.


A: _ARTILLERY_; _INFANTRY_; _CAVALRY_
23. The Olympics weren't the only game in town in Ancient Greece. Given the starting year and the winner's prize, name the pan-Hellenic Athletic festival for 10 points each.


  1. 582 B.C., crown of bay leaves

PYTHIAN games

B) Also 582 B.C., but victors got a crown of pine



  1. ISTHMIAN games

  1. 573 B.C., crown of parsley

NEMEAN games

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