Aes workshop: Planning an essay Academic English Service


Introduces the topic in a broad way



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AES workshop Planning an essay 2022

Introduces the topic in a broad way
The time spent by the average UK employee at work has been steadily increasing over
the past decade (CIPD, 2020). As work takes up an ever-larger space in our lives, the
question of wellbeing at work is also becoming increasingly important.


Acknowledges complexity
Wellbeing at work is a complex and multi-faceted concept, including aspects of
occupational health (Smith, 2015), physical fitness (Sheriff, 2017), mental health (Yu,
2019; Withers et al., 2019) and organisational dynamics of team structure and levels of individual control (Prior, 2018).
Focuses the topic
Of particular relevance in the current climate of widespread WFH (working from home)
are the two aspects of mental wellbeing and levels of individual control. This analysis will
focus primarily on these two issues, making use of the practices at Google and Asana as
case studies.
Mapping statement
This essay will first attempt to clearly define what is ‘wellbeing’ and will map out some of
the key aspects which have traditionally been considered the responsibility of the
employer and those which have been considered matters of individual responsibility for
the employee. It will make use of two case studies to show how these boundaries have
shifted in recent years and will argue that while the responsibility for employee wellbeing
does not lie solely with the employer, there is certainly scope for them to play a larger
role in supporting the wellbeing of their staff than has previously been the case.
2. The essay does not make explicit the links between individual ideas and the overall argument.
Essay planning and topic sentences

From your list of key points mapped out from your critical
questions, prioritise those that are most essential/interesting/relevant/have the strongest evidence
Break down the word limit




10% introduction
10% for conclusion.
How many words are left for your main body paragraphs?

For each paragraph, identify the key point addressed and what
it contributes to the overall argument. This should be made clear in the first sentence of the paragraph.
Wellbeing at work is the responsibility of the employer alone. Critically reflect on
this sentence and present and support your own argument(s) with a strong academic rationale and empirical examples.
Before we can analyse the validity of this statement, it is first essential
to define the term ‘wellbeing’….
It is clear that, according to this definition, there are a number of
aspects of wellbeing that can reasonably be considered the sole
responsibility of the employer….
Wellbeing at work is, however, inevitably influenced by an individual’s
general wellbeing which may be affected by factors beyond the control
of their employers….
One company which has actively engaged in wellbeing interventions
beyond the traditional sphere of the workplace is Google….
Essay planner
3. The writing is descriptive or ‘list-like’ rather
than critical.
Meaningful paragraphs
Make your paragraphs meaningful units of argument. (A
paragraph is not a sentence!)
Each paragraph needs a topic sentence, development of idea and supporting evidence.
one key
Effective use of sources
Your sources don’t just show your reading, they are used
actively
to shape your argument. You also express your own point of view
by either aligning yourself with them or distancing yourself from them.
Clarke et al (2020) state that a key
element in a successful biscuit is chocolate. Their survey of 2000 undergraduate biscuit-eaters found that over 70% of them expressed a
strong preference for chocolate biscuits compared with plain ones.
Credit: mydelifresh.com
Sturgiss
with two
are very
(2017) reports that biscuits
layers, ‘sandwich’ biscuits,
popular in the UK and they
have had a consistently strong
market share over the past twenty years. A study conducted on behalf of Mars confectionary (Mars, 2019)
shows that custard creams continue to hold their position in the top ten ‘teatime favourites’ category.
Credit: pxhere.com
Credit: retailtechnology.co.uk
Neutral reporting
verbs
Clarke et al (2020) state that a key element in a successful
biscuit is chocolate. Their survey of 2000 undergraduate biscuit-
eaters found that over 70% of them expressed a strong preference for chocolate biscuits compared with plain ones. Sturgiss (2017) reports that biscuits with two layers, ‘sandwich’ biscuits, are very popular in the UK and they have had a
consistently strong market share over the past twenty years. A study conducted on behalf of Mars confectionary (Mars, 2019) shows that custard creams continue to hold their position in the top ten ‘teatime favourites’ category.
Reports the findings of a series of
sources without commenting on them. We don’t hear the author’s voice at all.
Recent research on consumer biscuit preferences
has identified a number of key elements that are
shared by many of the market leaders in the UK. Two of the most successful biscuit characteristics are: having chocolate as a main ingredient (Clarke et al., 2020) and having a double-layer ‘sandwich’ structure (Sturgiss, 2018; Mars, 2019). These findings could be incorporated into the creation of new products which exploit the known popularity of these characteristics.
Present perfect:
summarises research
Clear topic
sentence
Recent research on consumer biscuit preferences
has identified a number of key elements that are
shared by many of the market leaders in the UK. Two of the most successful biscuit characteristics are: having chocolate as a main ingredient (Clarke et al.,
2020) and having a double-layer ‘sandwich’ structure
(Sturgiss, 2018; Mars, 2019). These findings could be incorporated into the creation of new products which exploit the known popularity of these characteristics.
Evidence to
support claims
Author’s voice
highlights implication of the evidence
The debate over which biscuit characteristics are most reliable in
leading to market success is one which has long divided
scholarly opinion. Sturgiss (2017) claimed that a two-layer structure was a strong predictor of biscuit popularity but more up- to-date research by Clarke et al (2020) suggests that chocolate as a main ingredient is the most salient factor in biscuit
preference, particularly among university-age consumers, who are a key target market for this product.
Clear topic sentence
identifying an area
debate
of
The debate over which biscuit characteristics are
most reliable in leading to market success is one
which has long divided scholarly opinion. Sturgiss (2017) claimed that a two-layer structure was a strong predictor of biscuit popularity but more up- to-date research by Clarke et al (2020) suggests
that chocolate as a main ingredient is the most salient factor in biscuit preference, particularly among university-age consumers, who are a key target market for this product.
Past tense,
weak
reporting
verb
Present tense,
positive
adjectives: up-to-date,
most salient, key

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