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Thief and Cobbler shoot through the legs of the King's huge aged eunuch guarding the door - but the eunuch is so tall and his legs so long he doesn't even notice them - only the breeze.

The Cobbler, temporarily losing the Thief, passes some fortythieves-type of wine jugs. The lid of the end one, unseen by the Cobbler, lifts up showing the Thief inside, then goes back down and the jug falls over with a crash. It knocks over all the others in domino fashion and jugs bounce and roll and crash down two sets of stairs.

The Thief gets out, the Cobbler spots him, and they shoot down the stairs through the flying jugs, and curtains, plants, pots, rugs and tapestries, miraculously avoiding destruction. The Cobbler makes a running leap at the Thief, going around a corner, and grabs the slipper out of the Thief's hand in mid-air. The Thief spirals away, riding down a staircase handrail, sliding away below. Then crashes through a stained glass window.

The Cobbler goes head-first down another set of stairs, through some doors, diving between the legs of all four Eunuchs who are barring a series of four entrances.

27.

SEQ. 3.3.



The Cobbler shoots straight into ZigZag's dressing room, where he bashes into ZigZag from the back, knocking ZigZag into a sit-down fall over the Cobbler. More tacks sri II again.

Goblet, Gopher, Slap and Tickle surround the Cobbler to bar his possible exit and the entrance is blocked by the huge eunuchs. ZigZag, enraged, gets to his feet. He pulls at the slipper as the Cobbler hangs onto it with both hands.

ZigZag:

AHA, YOU'VE FINISHED YUMYUM'S SHOE! YOU ARE YOUR OWN UNDOER.

ZigZag is pulling the Cobbler toward himself, by the slipper, then pulls out his cigar-like stick. . .

ZigZag:


YOU IVE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE, NOW YOU'RE THROUGH!

On THROUGH sproing! longer stick with a horseshoe-shaped the Cobbler to the wall by the neck. the slipper, which ZigZag also grasps.

the stick ejects itself into a end with two talons, and pins The Cobbler is still holding onto

ZigZag:


I'LL GLADLY TAKE IT TO HER.

ZigZag yanks the slipper free.

Goblet, Gopher, Slap and Tickle are giggl ing and snortinq sadistically.

ZigZag lets go of his prong stick and looks at the slipper. Goblet, Gopher, Slap and Tickle are still cackling and snorting about what will happen next to the Cobbler.

ZigZag absently draws back a curtain, which reveals a garden. He glances with interest into it, and smiles devilishly. Then, pushing a button on the handle of his stick, the prongs retract, releasing the Cobbler from his position on the wall, and he presents the shoe back to the Cobbler.

ZigZag:


ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU TAKE THE SHOE. I THINK I MIGHT ALLOW A LAST GOODBYE TO HER FROM YOU SHE'S IN THE GARDEN NOW.

ZigZag peers into the garden and pretends to see something awful.

28.

ZigZag:


DEAR ME! I SEE A BEASTLY STRANGER! YOUR PRINCESS SEEMS TO BE IN DANGER!

ZigZag winks at Goblet, Gopher, Slap and Tickle as the Cobbler looks, horrorstricken, out into the garden. Most of the tacks drop out of his mouth.

Goblet: OH MY! Gopher: OH, DEAR YOU! Slap: ER, YEAH! Tickle: G RAC IOUS!

Cut to the Cobbler's point of view. The camera zooms in on a huge, distorted, lime-green beast who has the Princess clasped in an embrace.

The Cobbler is totally confused, looks back and forth at ZigZag and his henchmen and at what he sees in the garden.

SEQ. 3.4.

The Cobbler suddenly jumps over the side of the balcony into the garden. There is a muffled crash of the tools and nails in his pants as he lands.

The Beast looks up in alarm. The Cobbler runs straight at the Beast and starts swatting him with the Princess's slipper. The Princess is shrieking, and he then hands the slipper to the Princess, whips out his little hammer and bangs the Beast on his multi-toed feet. The Beast is blubbering and shrieking.

Beast:

MEEMEE!


MEEMEE!

HELP!


HELP!

Princess MeeMee:

STOP IT, STOP IT!

SOMEBODY. . .

OH!

STOP IT!



OO!

OO!


OO!

The Cobbler drives the Beast across the garden and into the trees, then turns and runs back to the Princess and bows shyly before her.

WHAP!

She swats him across the face with the slipper and



claps her hands and screams.

Princess MeeMee:

GUARDS!

GUARDS!


The two guards we saw at the gate arrive instantly and apprehend

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the Cobbler.

Princess MeeMee:

TAKE HIM AWAY! AND KILL HIM AT DAWN!

Gong sounds and Eunuchs appear. from the pantaloons.

The dwarf leaps out

Dwarf:


TAKE HIM AWAY AND KILL HIM AT DAWN!

Four Eunuchs:

TAKE HIM AWAY AND KILL HIM AT DAWN! TAKE HIM AWAY AND KILL HIM AT DAWN!

Dwarf:


(in descant) TAKE HIM AWAY AND KILL HIM AT DAWN!

The Cobbler looks desperately at the princess for a sign of compassion; there is none there. He is dragged out of the garden by the two guards. The Eunuchs follow, still chanting.

Cut to ZigZag and his minions watching.

ZigZag:


HEHHAH HEH! MOST AMUSING. HIS CONFUSING PRINCESS MEEMEE WITH HER TWIN! ITIS A GENUINE AMUSION, THE CONFUSION WHICH HE'S IN! HEHHAHHEH!

Goblet:


HOW DROLL!

Gopher:


OH, AN AMUSION!

Slap:


A WHAT?

OH, ER, HEH HEH.

YEH.

WHAT?


Tickle:

OH.


YES, YES, ISNIT IT?

AHAHAHA!

Cut to the Princess MeeMee. She is in front of a large bush with trembling branches, and the huge eye of the Beast peeking through the branches at the top.

Princess MeeMee:

THERE, THERE, BUBBA, MY PRINCE. . . HONEY SWEET PET. . . DI D THE TERRIBLE MAN HURTUMS?

The eye nods and the grotesque head comes out from the bush a little bit.

Princess MeeMee:

NEVER MIND, BUBBA LOVE, HEIS GONE NOWHE WILL BE PUNISHED. OH MY LOVE, BUBBUMS HURT?

B ea s t :

YETH.


30.

Princess MeeMee:

DID THE AWFUL MAN HURT HIMS LITTLE TOES?

B ea s t :

YETH (sob sob) HURT HURT ME, MEEMEE! THERE, THERE HONEY LOVE. . . MY PRINCE. . . MY OWN PRINCE BUBBA . . .

Princess MeeMee:

Beast:

MEEMEE, MEEMEE . . . MY PRINCESS



During this, the Beast is getting out of the bush in which he is sitting as if it were a large garden seat. As sections of him come out of the bush, the branches sprong back into place.

While she is administering to him, and genuinely caring for him, Princess MeeMee takes a small hand-mirror .and looks at herself, adjusting her hair, etc., still cooing to him.

He ends up on the grass with her as she mothers him, caressing him, fondling him, kissing his hurt toes. As the love scene intensifies, peacocks walk up and spread their tails like fans, so that we only see the heads of the Beast and the Princess which disappear slowly down behind the fan-like tails. It is early evening. The sky is gold and the garden is in lilac shadows.

SEQ. 3.5.

Cut to the Thief looking at the peacocks while we still hear muffled gurgles of pleasure. He makes his way along the garden wall until his attention is caught by a gleaming silver ornament on top of a pavilion visible just over the wall. He starts climbing the vines of red roses which cling to the wall. Though he has difficulty getting to the top, once there he is tran sfixed at what he sees on the other side.

In the next garden, we see an immaculate white pavilion, in front of which is a low platform on which spreads a large circular white fur rug. On the fur rug, the Princess YumYum is lying, clad in white, on a white bolster, and we can just see her gorgeous figure translucent underneath. Everything is white, like a television soap commercial. The only real colour is a pile of broken bejewelled slippers which the princess has been snapping in two. The jewelled slippers are reflected in the Thief's eyes as he peers over the wall.

The princess yawns, and stretches out for a nap. sl ippers have been broken.

All the


31.

We hear only the sound of the flies as the Thief makes his way down the white rose vines on the inside of the white garden. The Thief is a dung-coloured mass moving against this purity. The vines suddenly give way and he falls to the ground with His head emerges from the ripped vine. A look at the

a thud.

Princess.

She has not stirred.

Crawling on his stomach, commando-style, he crosses the courtyard and up some steps to the platform which supports the large white fur rug in which the Princess is ensconced. She doesn't stir, and so the Thief steps onto the rug and ever-sa-carefully tiptoes through it toward the glistening jewelled slippers. He delicately takes an armful of shining slippers and escapes half-way back across the rug, when there is a deep rumble. The ground starts to shake and vibrate below him. The Thief looks in all directions as huge white dogs' heads rise up encircl ing him. We see that the rug is made up of enormous white dogs arranged in a circle, bottom to bottom in the centre, the Thief trapped neatly at the middle, as the camera pulls back.

Cut to the next garden with the peacocks. As we hear terrible rending, snarling and ripping noises from the white garden, the peacocks are startled away and we see Princess MeeMee drying Prince Bubba's tears with a small hankie. They look up, startled at the noise next door.

Princess MeeMee:

MY SISTER AND HER PETS! (MeeMee goes on drying Bubba's THERE, THERE, BUBBA, MY PRINCE.

tears)


Prince Bubba:

THAT MAN DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PRINCE. HE THOUGHT I WAS A . . . A BEAST!

Princess MeeMee:

OH, WHAT DOES HE KNOW!

MeeMee takes out a small hand-mirror and admires herself. She is always doing this.

Prince Bubba:

BUT LOOK AT ME, MEEMEE! MAYBE I AM A BEAST!

MeeMee continues to gaze at her reflection as she reaches up absently and pats Bubba IS cheek.

Princess MeeMee:

NONSENSE!

32.

Princess MeeMee:



YOU'RE A HANDSOME PRINCE UNDER AN ENCHANTMENT. . .

MeeMee puts the mirror down and smiles sweetly at Prince

Bubba.

Princess MeeMee:



OTHERWISE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING WITH ME?

Prince B ubba :

ARE YOU SURE?

( dissolve)

SEQ. 3.6.

Fade in on the bars of the window of a dungeon door. Cobbler is working intently on the pile of jewelled slippers which Princess YumYum broke in two. He has a large ball and chain clamped around his ankle. On the floor is a bowl of water and a lump of bread on a plate. A few mice with beady eyes sit in a semi-circle in front of him. He breaks off little bits of bread and throws them to the

The

mice.


We hear a horse's whinny and a loud clop of hooves close by. The Cobbler looks up to the only window, which is a slit of light with bars, towards the top of his cell. He pulls himself up, dragging the large ball and chain over beneath the window slit, and stands on the ball, holding onto the bars, and pulls himself up to look out.

There are two huge horsels hooves right at the window. sky is gold - the grass is bright green.

The

Cut to outside the window. The Cobbler's eyes look out and the camera pulls back to reveal the elegant polo ponies.



SEQ. 3. 7.

It is early evening - gold sunlight and lush green grass. The royal polo ponies are going on review before the King's pavilion viewing stand.

Beside the King, straddled across another "Throne" sits the pink palanquin. The King, seated beside it, puts his hand in and strokes a purple knee which is just visible amongst the drapery. Between the part in the folds are a pair of tiny white mother-of-pearl

33.


opera glasses, held by a couple of purple fingers with pink nail varnish. We hear the familiar husky giggle. The King, of course, is falling asleep, but seems vaguely interested in the horses. Seated at his other side is ZigZag.

ZigZag:


0, IMPERIAL MAJESTY! I BEG YOUR INDULGENCE TO LET ME PRESENT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT. . . DIFFERENT! FROM FARTHEST CATHAY, AT MY BIDDING WERE SENT THE BEST POLO PON IES OF THE ORIENT. AS YOUR VIZIER AND SERVANT, OF COURSE

I ADORE YOU. IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO MAKE PLEASURE FOR YOU. SO I COUNT NOT THE EFFORT THIS COST, I ASSURE YOU.

THOUGH THEIR PURCHASE WAS COSTLY. . . BUT DETAILS WOULD BORE YOU.

King:


( bored) YES, YES, ZIGZAG, VERY NICE. . .

ZigZag stands in grandiose manner.

ZigZag:

(In a loud voice, proclaiming to the assembly) TO PLEASE KING NOD BELOVED BY ALL, COMMENCE THE GAME! IN SHORT, PLAY BALL!

Trumpets blare, startling the King wide awake, and amid great cheering, whinnying and thundering of hooves, the game begins.

SEQ.3.8.

Cut to the Thief, his cloak shredded, running around the back of the palace and out onto the bright green of the grass and the golden sunlight. He is exhausted and very much the worse for wear. Suddenly a white, glittering sphere rolls past him and stops a few yards away on the grass. He is hypnotized by this glittering orb (about the size of a grapefruit) and he carefully approaches it. As his head and hand come right up to the ball, we hear the sudden thundering of hooves, and CRACK! the ball and the Thief go flying into the air. The Thief hits the ground as the horses disappear over a hillock and into the

distance.

He can't work out what has happened, but he starts to go

34.


away in the opposite direction from the riders, when the glittering ball quietly rolls up beside him. Still fascinated, he sees it, but reckons it could be the cause of the trouble, and so he starts moving away from it. Still roll ing, the ball follows him. No matter where the Thief steps, the ball keeps following him. We hear thunder of approaching hooves again. The Thief breaks into a run, the ball still at his heels. Up come the horses and CRACK! - the Thief flies into the air and splats on the ground again. The horses race over the hill and into the middle distance where we see the tips of the horses

and riders turn and race towards the Thief. By now the Thief has worked out what's happening, and he runs on his hands and knees into a large rabbit hole.

Inside the dark of the rabbit hole, we can see only the Thief's white eyes and the screen shakes as the horses thunder past above and the sound fades away. The eyes show great relief. Then the glittering white ball rolls down into the black screen and stops at where the Thief's feet would be. In the dark we still see only the ball and the Thiefls eyes as we hear the approaching pounding of hooves. Too late, the Thief sees the ball in there with him and WHACK! - amid flying sod and earth, he is shot right up into the air where his head is caught in the forked limb of a tree and his body lands on the branch as the horsemen race past below.

He heaves a sigh of relief, but then the gleaming white ball drops from some upper foliage onto his head. As fast as he can go he shinnies backwards along the limb to the main trunk and down the tree - only to find the ball rolls out from behind the trunk. He runs down a hill to get away but the ball follows him in hot pursuit.

Chasing the ball, of course, come the riders, and in long shot we see the Thief being bashed by the horsemen and mallets, flying up and down, hopelessly entangled in the game. Then he shoots toward us, and away, over a hill, where we hear a splash. The camera cranes with him, and we see him helplessly floating down a fast-moving stream. We follow him as the stream enters an underground passage and, finally, out the other side, where the Thief grabs a rock at the edge of the water, and just manages to get himself out back onto land.

He is emptying ball arrives beside him. which of course is very

the water out of his only shoe when the polo I n desperation, he leaps into the stream, shallow, and the ball follows him, and CRACK!

the game has caught up with him again.

35.

SEQ. 3.9.



Cut to the King, asleep. . . the game in full swing. seems to have noticed the Thief.

Nobody


ZigZag:

0, EVER VIG ILANT MAJESTY!

King:

(suddenly awakened) OH! WHAT IS IT?



ZigZag:

I TAKE TH IS OPPORTUN ITY TO SPEAK OUT WITH IMPUN ITY NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE. . .

Giggle from palanquin.

ZigZag:


IT'S FOR YOUR KINGDOM'S UNITYTHE GOOD OF THE COMMUN ITYIF I TAKE A CANDID TONE. . .

King:


YES, YES, WHAT IS IT, ZIGZAG?

ZigZag:


I SPEAK OF PRINCESS MEEMEE . . .

King:


MEEMEE?

PRINCESS MEEMEE?

ZigZag:

YES - YES, THE PRINCESS MEEMEE. (clears his throat delicately) AS ANYONE CAN SEE, SHE HAS ACHIEVED A CERTAIN

. . . BLOOM. . .

King:


(somewhat surprised) OH , REALLY?

ZigZag:


LIKE THE OPENING OF A LOTUS! IT HAS NOT ESCAPED YOUR NOTICE, I PRESUME?

King:


(suddenly, he is aware that he has been idly fondling the contents of the palanquin - and withdraws his hand from within the pink curtains as if he had just grabbed a red-hot poker.)

OH, UH, OF COURSE. . .

ZigZag:

IN SHORT, SHE'S REACHED MATURITY. SUCH LOVELINESS AND PURITY DEMAND INCREASED SECURITY FROM UNTOWARD. . . ADVANCE. . .

36.

King:


WHAT!

WHO DARES TO MAKE ADVANCE?

ZigZag:

A CERTAIN. . . BEAST. . . SHE CALLS "THE PRI NCE".

King:

THE PRINCE! A BEAST? BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT BUBBA IS A PRINCE. . . UNDER AN ENCHANTMENT. . .



ZigZag:

HER LONG INFATUATION FOR THIS ONE OF UNSURE STATION COULD GIVE RISE TO SPECULATION IF IT BLOSSOMED TO ROMANCE. . .

King:

BUT IS PRINCE BUBBA NOT A PRINCE ???



ZigZag:

(humouring him) IF YOU HOLD TO THIS CONVICTION I WILL SPEAK NO CONTRADICTION TO THIS TALE OF HIS AFFLICTION - WHO CAN TELL? IF TH IS THEORY WE WOULD PROVE, AND IT REALLY WOULD BEHOOVE THEREIS BUT ONE WHO CAN REMOVE TH IS EVIL SPELL. . .

King:

AND WHO rs THAT?



ZigZag:

IT CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED SOLELY BY A WITCH, BOTH MAD AND HOLY AND AS ANCIENT AS THE MOUNTAIN WHERE SHE DWELLS.

King:

AND WHERE IS THAT?



ZigZag:

SHE IS FAR ACROSS THE SANDS WHERE THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN STANDS. WE MUST PUT IT IN HER HANDS TO BREAK ALL SPELLS!

King:

THEN, TO SETTLE THE ISSUE ONCE AND FOR ALL, THIS MAD AND HOLY OLD WITCH MUST BE SUMMONED!



ZigZag:

OH, SHE NEVER LEAVES HER EYRIE, FOR SHE'S FAR TOO OLD AND WEARY

37.

ZigZag:


AND WOULD FIND THE TRIP TOO DREARY NOW TO BEAR. . . BUT, 0 HEAD OF EXCELLENCE, IT WOULD SEEM BUT COMMEN SENSE FOR THE BEAST. . . THAT IS, THE PRINCE TO TRAVEL THERE. . .

King:


WELL, IF YOU THINK SO, ZIGZAG. I'LL SLEEP ON IT. (He starts to go to sleep.)

A t this point there is a burst of action as the polo ponies and riders thunder past and the game continues. One ray of late afternoon sun has lit up the three gold balls on the tallest minaret - visible from the King's pavilion.

ZigZag:

(rising to his feet) o WISEST OF RULERS! HAPPY ARE THE SUBJECTS WHO LIVE BENEATH YOUR HAND! HAPPY IS THE KINGDOM IN THIS MILK AND HONEYED LAND WE REJOICE AT ALL AROUND US AS THIS BEAUTEOUS EVENING FALLS SAFE BENEATH THE SURE PROTECTION OF THE ANCIENT GOLDEN BALLS.

The camera goes up towards the three gold balls gleaming against the peacock blue sky.

SEQ. 13.4.

Cut to the Thief escaping out of dark shadows, his head poking again into the late sunlight. He looks to the right, spots open doorway and runs inside.

an


Cut to a long top shot of a checkered floor of an enormous dark hall. The Thief skids to a stop, looks around blinking and begins to sneak forward.

Cut to a full-figure shot of the Thief, sneaking along the dark green checkered floor. Suddenly, he stops, in a vibrating 'take'.

Cut to a close-up of the Thief's head as his eyes light up with brill iant gleaming emeralds.

38.


Cut to a crystal bottle full of luminous emeralds shining in the darkness. The Thief approaches, sneaking up to the emeralds. Transfixed, he puts his fingers all over the glass and examines the bottle and its contents. Then he opens his robe and throws out all his loot. Brass pots, pearls, jugs, vanity cases, and brassware of all descriptions crash noisily to the floor. He has made room...

Next, the Thief rolls up his sleeve and reaches his scrawny arm into the bottle and grabs the largest emerald. He tugs at it but it is too big to come out of the neck of the bottle. I n fact, the neck of the bottle is too thin for ~ of the emeralds to pass through it. But the Thief, naturally, keeps turning and prying and pulling as the emeralds gleam in the darkness, lighting his face. He has failed to notice the arrival of the two monolithic palace guards in blue, carrying scimitars, who have glided silently up behind him, summoned by his crashing brassware.

yanking still in

The Thief eventually looks up at them, then goes back to at the emerald. He picks up the whole bottle with his arm it, and runs a few steps away and continues to tug.

The Guards smoothly slide up beside him and the Thief, still holding the Bottle, takes a few more paces away, never interrupting his ineffective tugging at the emerald.

The Guards silently pick him up between them and cart him away, bottle, jewels and all the Thief still tugging pathetically.

Fade.

SEQ. 13.6.



Fade in on a top-shot of a palace courtyard. Twilight. Getting darker through scene. We see a platform with stocks, and executioner's wooden basket in front.

People are passing by the platform going about their business.

There is a wall behind the platform with a double door. doors suddenly bang open, reveal ing the two Guards in blue with scimitars and the Thief (without the jewel bottle) between them. simultaneously shout:

The their

They

Guards:


( proclaiming) THIEF!

THIEF!


39.

The people look around at them and others gather as the Guards carry the Thief over to the platform.

in the as he

Cut to a close-up of the Thief's head, seen from the stocks foreground. He draws his head back like a turtle into his coat realizes what is about to happen.

Cut to an overhead long-shot of the platform as more people gather round. The Guards march the Thief up on to the platform to the stocks. Cut to a front view of the stocks, the Thief and Guards behind as one Guard lifts the top and the other Guard pushes the Thief forward. The Thief's hands are trembling violently. As they push him, indicating for him to put his hands in the slots, the Thief's trembling hands disappear up into his sleeves.

Cut to an extreme close-up of the Thief's head. Slowly his eyes brighten and we see an expression on his face different from any we have seen there before. He is thinking!

The Thief looks slyly up at each Guard. Cut to an under-shot of the Thief's body and head. Leaning his head and shoulders forward so that the Guards cannot see under

neath, he reaches into his coat and pulls out the two jewelled backscratchers he swiped from the Princesses' bath chamber.

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