|Odds ‘n Ends Page
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry by Leslie Parrott & Les Parrott III (1995). ISBN: 0310492408
This is a primer on the common problems men and women have in long-term relationships. Women are process-oriented and think out loud. Men are more egotistical and goal-oriented, and prefer fighting battles to understanding them. It's Mars and Venus revisited, along with some interesting insights on why marriages go wrong. The writing is authoritative, but the gentle narration speaks to the heart. A final section on including God in your marriage is tastefully presented and contributes to making the program a nice guide for anyone whose marriage is threatening to go off course.
Getting Together and Staying Together: Solving the Mystery of Marriage by William Glasser & Carleen Glasser (2000). ISBN: 006095633X
The facts are nothing short of startling--no matter how many people seem to walk down the aisle, the divorce rate in America is at a record high.What's the secret to getting into a happy marriage and, even more important, staying in one? Now world-renowed psychiatrist Dr. William Glasser and his wife, Carleen Glasser, update their classic guide to successful marriages, Staying Together, for couples young and old. As they examine the questions of why some marriages work and others fail, the Glassers advise readers on how to create loving and happy relationships by applying Dr. Glasser's trademark "choice theory." The result is a wealth of new information about who would make a compatible partner and how to improve any relationship.
Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend (1999) ISBN: 031022151X
Two lives becoming one: That’s the marriage ideal. But maybe you’ve discovered that it’s easier said than done. How do you solve problems? How do you establish healthy communication? How do you work out conflict and deal with the struggle of differing needs? In the process of knitting two souls together, it’s easy to tear the fabric.
That’s why boundaries—the ways we define and maintain our sense of individuality, freedom, and personal integrity—are so important. And it’s why the principles described in Boundaries in Marriage are essential if you want your marriage to flourish.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (1996) ISBN: 1881273156
Excellent book, especially for those clients who seek a Christian focus in relationship counseling. Very easy to read, provides examples from the author's clinical practice. Basic premise is there are five ways persons like to be shown love, each equally valid. Marriage is about finding out your partner's language and learning how to "speak it" like a native, even if it is foreign to you.
Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss (1990) ISBN: 0679805273 (Embracing life and its changes)
This is another great book by Dr. Seuss that breaks down complex issues. In this story, a boy faces the many perils of life. He encounters loneliness, depression, indecision and even the agony of waiting. It also tells of the good time in life when the boy feels like he is the best and flies much higher than the rest. The message is that throughout the course of life there are “ups and downs”, but through it all you are in charge of where you will go and how you feel. It stresses that life is a balancing act and believe it or not, you have the capability to move mountains.
Awakening the Heroes Within: Twelve Archetypes to Help Us Find Ourselves and Transform Our World by Carol S. Pearson (1991) ISBN: 0062506781
This brilliant and accessible review of the 12 archetypes that define our personalities offers a key to a better understanding of ourselves and others. The author offers a combination of a rigorous, scientific treatment of the subject, couched in a language both accessible and devoid of academic babble. A recommended book for anyone who wants to understand himself/herself better and/or redefine his/her professional and personal life. Good to use with children/adolescents in discussing the “journey we all take to adulthood” and making sense of all the cultural messages that we receive.
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb (1999) ISBN: 0060987561
Centers on two men, identical twins, one of whom is mentally ill. A heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world.
The Seven Seasons of a Man's Life by Patrick M. Morley (1998) ISBN: 0310217644
Looking at the broad sweep of life itself, Morley gives men a view of its landscape that can help them determine where they are, where they're headed, and how to get there. He presents his hard-won perspectives on the seven seasons of Reflection, Building, Crisis, Renewal, Rebuilding, Suffering, and Success.
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (2001) ISBN: 0785268839
If Christian men are going to change from a pitiful, wimpy bunch of "really nice guys" to men who are made in the image of God, they must reexamine their preconceptions about who God is and recover their true "wild" hearts. Eldredge throws down the gauntlet--men are bored; they fear risk, they refuse to pay attention to their deepest desires. He challenges Christian men to return to authentic masculinity without resorting to a "macho man" mentality.
Every Man, God’s Man: Every Man's Guide to Courageous Faith and Daily Integrity by Stephen Arterburn, Kenny Luck, & Mike Yorkey (2003) ISBN: 1578566908
Spiritually, men are frustrated today because they feel they are repeatedly coming up short or are in other ways unfulfilled. Like football players in the “red zone,” they are struggling to complete the drive toward integrity and intimacy with God. That drive toward spiritual maturity requires both a shift of heart and a re-examination of the spiritual habits. What men lack today is, first, clear understanding of what God is really after in the relationship, and second, a clear plan connected to their goals that make sense practically and biblically. That’s what makes this book special: It specifically reveals God’s heart for men in the spiritual “red zone,” and sets forth the choices they must make to take the relationship with God all the way.
On being a therapist (3rd ed.). by Kottler (2003) ISBN: 0787968943
One of the most inspiring sources of guidance for aspiring and seasoned practitioners alike. Jeffrey Kottler provides a candid account of the profound ways in which therapists influence clients and, in turn, are impacted personally and professionally by these encounters. He shows how therapists can learn, develop, and grow during the process of therapy and explains how practitioners can use the professional skills and insights gained from their sessions to address their own personal issues, realize positive change in themselves, and so become better helpers for others.
The Resilient Practitioner: Burnout Prevention and Self-Care Strategies for Counselors, Therapists, Teachers, and Health Professionals by Thomas M. Skovholt (2000) ISBN: 020530611X
Written for counselors, therapists or those in the health professions who do the kind of difficult work that helps individuals to change their lives, this book notes that in order to do the work well requires an optimal balance between "other-care" and "self-care." How does one acquire this balance? This book explores elements of this question by describing the joys and hazards of the work, the long road from novice to senior practitioner, the essence of burnout, ways to maintain the professional and personal self, methods experts use to maintain vitality, and, finally, a self-care action plan.
Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom (1999) ISBN: 0060930144
Southern California psychiatrist William Glasser, the author of Reality Therapy, believes that almost all human misery is caused by people trying to control others. In fact, he says, the only behavior we can control is our own; by the same token, no one can make us do anything we don't want to. It's only when we give up spending our energy trying to force others to conform to our ideas or to keep them from doing the same to us that we are able to live the way we want to. Glasser makes this somewhat difficult material easier to understand with examples and case studies from his own practice. For instance, he tells a man whose wife has left him that his only choices are to change what he wants her to do or to change the way he is dealing with her. While doing these things will not necessarily bring his wife back, Glasser says, it will certainly make him feel better. "When we actually begin to realize that we can control only our own behavior, we immediately start to redefine our personal freedom and find, in many instances, that we have much more freedom than we realize."
Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder – by Marsha M. Linehan (1993) ISBN: 0898620341
A wise book (for clinicians to understand BP D/O and to educate future clients/students) and user-friendly manual well grounded in principle, detailed in its strategies, and exportable to a wide range of treatment settings. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a therapeutic technique designed to counter extreme emotional reactions — before they lead to overwhelming anger, depression, anxiety, and stress-related ailments. An eclectic mix of cognitive-behavioral techniques, skills training, Zen, and existentialism, DBT helps readers pay attention to their emotions, assess their blocks to controlling them, become less judgmental of themselves when they lose control, and ultimately eliminate overpowering feelings.
Addiction & Grace by Gerald May (1992) ISBN: 0060655372
Gerald May's brilliant and now classic exploration of the psychology and physiology of addiction. It offers an inspiring and hope-filled vision for those who desire to explore the mystery of who and what they really are. May examines the "processes of attachment" that lead to addiction and describes the relationship between addiction and spiritual awareness. He also details the various addictions from which we can suffer, not only to substances like alcohol and drugs, but to work, sex, performance, responsibility, and intimacy.
The Addictive Personality by Craig Nakken (1996) ISBN: 1568381298
This excellent book presents the most recent information on how an individual becomes an addict-including cultural influences and genetic factors-as well as examines addiction's causes, stages of development, and consequences. Good for clinicians and clients alike.
Counseling addicted families: A sequential assessment & treatment model by Jerry Juhnke & W. Bryce Hagedorn (2006). ISBN: 0415951062
Recognizing that even those treatment providers who understand the importance of the familial context of addiction are often stymied by the variety of family treatment theories and their often imperfect fit for cases of addiction, Juhnke and Hagedorn provide a truly integrated model for assessment and treatment. Based upon the authors' combined 23 years of experience in clinical and treatment supervision, the Integrated Family Addictions Model consists of six progressive treatment tiers which organize the relevant family treatment theories into a graduated and coherent sequence, beginning with the briefest and least costly forms of therapy. If one of the lower tiers allows clients to reach their treatment goals, the patient and therapist need not waste time and resources following the full continuum. If, however, their needs are still unmet, they can progress in a logical fashion to more advanced and intensive forms of therapy.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (2003) ISBN: 0786868716
Part drama and part parable, this book weaves together three stories, all told about the same man: 83-year-old Eddie, the head maintenance person at Ruby Point Amusement Park. As the novel opens, readers are told that Eddie, unsuspecting, is only minutes away from death as he goes about his typical business at the park. Albom then traces Eddie's world through his tragic final moments, his funeral, and the ensuing days as friends clean out his apartment and adjust to life without him. This is a great book for dealing with grief, terminal illnesses, etc. – changed my view of death and dying.
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom (1997) ISBN: 0684839385
This true story about the love between a spiritual mentor and his pupil has soared to the bestseller list for many reasons. For starters: it reminds us of the affection and gratitude that many of us still feel for the significant mentors of our past. It also plays out a fantasy many of us have entertained: what would it be like to look those people up again, tell them how much they meant to us, maybe even resume the mentorship? Plus, we meet Morrie Schwartz--a one of a kind professor, whom the author describes as looking like a cross between a biblical prophet and Christmas elf. And finally we are privy to intimate moments of Morrie's final days as he lies dying from a terminal illness. Even on his deathbed, this twinkling-eyed mensch manages to teach us all about living robustly and fully. Kudos to author and acclaimed sports columnist Mitch Albom for telling this universally touching story with such grace and humility.
The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren (2002) ISBN: 0310205719
The spiritual premise in The Purpose-Driven Life is that there are no accidents---God planned everything and everyone. Therefore, every human has a divine purpose, according to God's master plan. This is not about self-exploration; it is about purposeful devotion to God. The book is set up to read and "interact" with over the course of the 40 chapters, reading them one day at a time, with extensive underlining and writing in the margins. It’s a great book for folks struggling with existential issues, depression and finding a purpose in daily life.
Changing for Good. by Prochaska. Norcross. & DiClemente (1995). ISBN: 038072572X
From deep within the ore, great changes must be made to reveal the hidden diamond. Similar hard work is just as essential in changing human behavior, especially addictive behavior, according to the authors. Changing for Good distinguishes itself from the many other self-help materials available by espousing a sound therapeutic approach based on the authors' years of professional work with people in all sorts of damaging behavioral patterns, including smoking, overeating, alcohol abuse, and toxic relationships. The six steps to change, the social processes one must understand while changing, and the criteria used to measure success will prove useful to all self-helpers.
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck (2003) ISBN: 0743243153
Hailed by the Washington Post as "a spontaneous act of generosity," The Road Less Traveled has already given more than two million grateful readers an inspirational framework for achieving profound personal growth and satisfaction. Dr. Peck's crucial premise---that life is hard---is challenging for even the strongest among us, but his art lies in his ability to lead us to accept, and ultimately transcend, this idea. The key is discipline, and with Dr. Peck's assistance, you will learn to master the four principles of discipline needed for every healthy, life-affirming act: Delaying Gratification, Accepting Responsibility, Dedication to Reality, and Balancing The Road Less Traveled is a landmark. Never before have psychological and spiritual guidance come together so powerfully. It's not the easiest road---but it is the only one worth taking. Let Dr. Peck's remarkable achievement help you find your way as you journey today, and every day of your life.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl (1997) ISBN: 0671023373
This is among the most influential works of psychiatric literature since Freud. The book begins with a lengthy, austere, and deeply moving personal essay about Frankl's imprisonment in Auschwitz and other concentration camps for five years, and his struggle during this time to find reasons to live. The second part of the book, called "Logotherapy in a Nutshell," describes the psychotherapeutic method that Frankl pioneered as a result of his experiences in the concentration camps. Freud believed that sexual instincts and urges were the driving force of humanity's life; Frankl, by contrast, believes that man's deepest desire is to search for meaning and purpose. Frankl's logotherapy, therefore, is much more compatible with Western religions than Freudian psychotherapy. This is a fascinating, sophisticated, and very human book. At times, Frankl's personal and professional discourses merge into a style of tremendous power. "Our generation is realistic, for we have come to know man as he really is," Frankl writes. "After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips."