carnival scene. Cindy sits with Maggie as she leans forward,
doubled over on a child's chair. Peggy moves from the window to
sit with them.
(moves to window)
He's not coming. Watch. He's not
No, no. I saw eight geese flying in a
You and your lucky geese. You always
And in a "V".
Eight is good... "V" could be Victory.
They ad lib various words starting with the letter "V". Maggie
Rub your ears.
Yes, rubbing your ears is very soothing.
Cory does that to me when I
Maggie rubs her ears.
We do it to our dog.
After they rub Maggie's ears a bit:
He's here! He's here!
They all squeeze and peer out window. They scream in excitement.
Cindy rushes to Maggie's wedding dress.
I'll get the dress.
He's here!... He's here!
Now's the time for calm... If you don't
calm down, you won't get your dress on...
He's the one... He's the one.
Peggy moves to help Cindy with the dress. Maggie stands alone at
the window a moment. She picks up a toy horse.
This is not a good sign.
Maggie goes over to Peggy and Cindy, and starts to get into her
bridal gown. They continue to ad lib words standing with the
We have to hurry. The Sunday School
kids will be here soon.
INT. IKE'S CAR - DAY
Ike pulls up slowly. GUESTS peer through the his car window and
wave. Ike rubs his headache.
Well, the groom just pulled up. There
was talk of a "now show", but he is
Ike Graham is here!
He moves as he takes it all in: a FAMILY eats a fast food picnic
on a neighbor's lawn, invited GUESTS flock by in their party
best, and local NEWS TEAMS block the way. The STATE SENATOR is
making a speech welcoming the press to Maryland. A large GROUP
of reporters head up the church's stairs, hauling their
equipment. They enter the flood of PEOPLE streaming inside the
church. Ike snaps.
EXT. IKE'S CAR - CONTINUING
Ike stops the car where it is and jumps out, slamming the door in
anger. The REPORTERS swarm around him as he gets out of the car.
They continue to pound him with questions as he walks to church
steps. An OLDER LADY smacks him on the shoulder with a
newspaper. He turns in astonishment and continues up the
steps. He charges up the stairs and grabs Lee.
Shoot ours so she has one with an
Mrs. Pressman stands, shooting Ike with her video camera.
Mrs. Pressman, please.
It's okay. There's no microphone.
You're no fun.
No, I'm not.
Ike retreats into the church. Lee comes up to him again with his
video camera: CHUFFA about Scorsese.
INT. CHURCH - CONTINUING
As Fisher and Ellie sign the guest book, a LOCAL LADY stares at
Ellie. Ellie stares back at her until she leaves. Ike walks
away from Lee and turns smack into Ellie and Fisher. Ike puts
his arms around them and gives them a big hug.
Friends. Thank you. Thank you.
Over Ellie's shoulder, Ike sees Fisher's grinning face.
We are friends, aren't we, Fisher?
Of course we are. Of course.
Then you'll be my best man.
Well, I'm good, I don't know if I'm
Go talk to the pastor and he'll tell
you what to do. And someone will tell
me what to do.
You always looked great in that suit...
I'm happy for you, honey.
Ellie whispers in his ear.
I'll have a car around the back to
whisk you out of here if she runs.
Ellie kisses him on the cheek and walks away.
Bob comes up to Ike. He looks like he's going to punch Ike, then
abruptly holds out a rose boutonniere.
You look awful.
Bob hands the flower to Ike. Ike is shaking. Bob catches this
and looks up to Ike. It is a moment of clean honesty between the
Ike. Need help?
He takes the boutonniere and puts it on Ike's lapel.
I'm glad it's you.
I didn't want to find out I wasn't for
her in the fourth quarter.
Got any last minute advice?
(motioning to their eyes)
Maintain eye contact.
Bob turns and leaves, going down a side staircase.
Eye contact. Eye contact.
Out of the corner of his eye, Ike sees a pictures of Christ on the
wall. He leans into the picture and whispers.
He walks into the chapel.
INT. CHAPEL - CONTINUING
Ike steps up and stands next to Fisher.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Your job is... the ring.
Do you have the ring?!
I just found out I'm best man! I'm
lucky I have a suit... What's wrong?
Ike gives the ring to Fisher. The Pastor approaches Ike. Ike
turns away and look out over the guests.
IKE'SPOV: There are most of the TOWNSPEOPLE we've come to
know, plus some NEW YORKERS for Ike, with little ponytails.
Armani wire rims, Donna Karan bodysuits. There's a lot of
smirking, checking out the hicks, forming their stories for
cocktail hour. Elaine is in back all dressed in black, mourning
Ike. Mrs. Trout approaches Ike.
You should thank Lou and I for the
wedding car -- a '63 Buick.
Oh, come on. You're practically family.
Mrs. Trout starts picking lint off Fisher's jacket.
Hello. I'm Fisher.
This doesn't want to come out.
You just pull a hair from my neck.
Mrs. Trout, go back to your seat!
INT. CHURCH FOYER - DAY
Peggy joins Maggie, who is blowing bubblegum and swaying in
front of an oscillating fan. Grandma and Walter come in.
Grandma gives her a kiss on the cheek.
Good luck, Maggie.
Thank you, Grandma.
Grandma leaves. Walter steps up.
(quietly to Maggie)
I'm really rooting for this one.
Thank you, Dad.
Peggy turns off the fan. Cindy takes the bag from Maggie.
Maggie spits her bubblegum into the bag. Peggy hands Maggie her
No sauntering down the aisle. Just
make time. Let's just get there.
Cindy and Peggy nod and leave. The door closes.
INT. CHAPEL - CONTINUING
Both extends his hand to Elaine.
Hi, I'm Elaine from New York.
Hello. I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth
That's okay. There's a lid for every
pot. Besides, I'm comfortable with Ike.
I mean, Jack Dempsey lost his
heavyweight title to a New Yorker.
I know. Gene Tunney.
The organ begins to play. The organist is Ted. Grandma, Walter,
Mrs. Pressman and the Trouts watch. Mrs. Trout picks lint off of
her husband's jacket.
Cindy and Peggy enter with the confident air of people who have
done this before. They make it to the head of the aisle all too
quickly. Peggy gives Ike a wink and an encouraging smile.
INT. CHURCH FOYER - CONTINUING
The door opens and Dennis sticks his head in.
They're ready, Maggie.
Just a second.
Dennis closes the door behind him as he goes back into the
chapel. Maggie has a moment alone. She looks at back door as
possible escape route, then changes her mind. She signals the
start of the wedding by knocking on the door.
INT. CHAPEL - CONTINUOUS
Immediately, Cory and Dennis open the doors for her entrance.
All the guests stand as Maggie enter the chapel smiling.
The aisle stretches before her into infinity. Faces goggle at
her from every direction. The tiny figure of Ike stands like a
beacon a long way off.
She plunges forward with a sped-up hesitation step.
Ike rocks imperceptibly, urging her on. Peggy and Cindy make
little "come on" motions. It seems to be working. Maggie
approaches rapidly. The CROWD has turned from skepticism to
looks and noises of encouragement.
ANGLE ON: MAGGIE
But then her feet gradually begin to slow.
Fisher gives a little "darn, so close" look.
But Ike is too busy maintaining eye contact. His eyes urge
Maggie closer -- loving her, willing her on.
Maggie stops her walk, gives Ike a teasing smile, and then
resumes with her walk toward him. His face. Her face. His
face. Her face.
Her foot inches forward. The other follows.
A sigh now rises from the GUESTS as Maggie closes in on Ike. He
smiles at her. She smiles at him. She is almost there... She's
there, smiling at Ike. The Pastor gestures to the guests to sit
down. They do.
Ike sneezes. She looks down and imagines she sees the carpet
splitting apart. And she bolts like a bat out of hell! In a
flurry of white, she is halfway down the aisle before Ike knows
what hits him.
Ike stands there dazed. For a second. Then she springs into
action, charging after her.
Block the doors!
Like a general, he points to Dennis and Cory in the back and
sends them into action. The doors shut in Maggie's face. But
she's a wild animal cornered. She moves to the side. The
TOWNSPEOPLE stand so Ike can hurry through the pew. Ike climbs
on the pews towards her as GUEST crowd the aisle, blocking his
path. Like a gazelle, she leaps to the side aisle and scampers
down and away. Fisher gets on his cell phone. Ike charges from
one of the full pews, crosses the aisle and leaps across the pews
near the staircase to cut her off. He grabs her veil and it
comes off in his hands. Maggie disappears down the steps of the
church basement. Ike fumble with the veil and jumps over the
railing, landing on Dennis' toe. He follows down the stairs
after her. Mrs. Pressman and Walter exchange bet money.
INT. CHURCH BASEMENT - CONTINUING
Maggie comes down steps and enters the church children's Sunday
school class. A lot of KIDS And TEACHERS are doing religious
arts and crafts. As Maggie runs through:
There's a man coming down those steps
with lots of candy in his pockets. If
you tickle him, he'll give candy.
She gives her bouquet to a little GIRL as she goes by. Ike comes
The KIDS mob him, grabbing his pockets. Ike fights his way
Maggie as she's in the church kitchen and hops on counter and
heads out the window. The window is wide enough.
Ike as he gets to the window, but Maggie is out in driveway.
EXT. CHURCH DRIVEWAY - CONTINUING
Maggie flies toward a FedEx truck at next house just leaving.
She gathers her dress and jumps in as Ike yells from window,
then, quickly climbs out onto the lawn as the truck starts to
Maggie looks back once, tearful and regretful, and disappears
inside the truck. The truck races off.
The PHOTOGRAPHERS turn their cameras on Ike, en masse. He is
enveloped by a barrage of bright lights.
Ellie and Fisher, who have also stepped outside on chapel front
steps, are looking around as Ike turns around the corner and
past the church.
Look, he's running after her.
Look, he's in pretty good shape.
They look after the FedEx truck and watch Ike chasing the truck
down the road away from the church.
Where do you think she's going?
Wherever it is, she'll be there by ten-
Cindy, Cory, Peggy and Meredith also rush out of the church and
comment on Maggie's runaway. Further down the road, Ike still
chases the truck, yelling:
As the truck rounds the bend in the road and disappears, Ike
stops and stares alone after the disappearing truck. A swarm of
REPORTERS catch up to him, flashing pictures and asking
questions. Another camera flashes and we cut to:
A NEWSPAPER PHOTO
Of Ike's stunned face on the cover of the USA Today. The caption
reads: "Hit and Run: Runaway Bride Strikes again". And we see
headlines in other papers.
"MAGGIE'S MAD DASH"
"HARDWARE HONEY GOES NUTS AND BOLTS"
"JOURNALIST WRITTEN OFF"
"BRIDE TAKES HIKE...NOT IKE"
"BRIDE TAKE RIDE"
"MAGGIE SAYS I DON'T"
INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY
Kevin, the bartender, reads Jay's column, in the USA Today
entitled "Maggie's Mad Dash".
EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY
Various newspaper WORKERS also read Jay's column in the USA
Today entitled "Maggie Mad Dash" and "Hardware Honey Goes Nuts
and Bolts" in another newspaper.
EXT. MAIN STREET/HALE - NIGHT (1-5 MONTHS LATER)
It's a night like any other in Hale -- the regular order of
things has been restored on its quaint streets. Quartet sings
in front of the hotel. LEE AND CORY CHUFFA: About where Peggy
INT. HARDWARE STORE - NIGHT
Maggie is sitting, end of a long day. Peggy sticks her head in
You okay? I'm closing.
I'm just finishing up, too.
Want to go to Butch's for a drink or
No, I'm just going to head home.
Peggy starts to go, then moves close to Maggie.
and making a "V"
with her fingers)
You know, I was just thinking about
that geese thing. I think the "V" was
half of a "W". A "W" for...
What are you talking about?
(holding Maggie's face)
You just have to get the rest of your
ducks in a row.
Thank you. You still think that he
Quick. Very quick.
Peggy exits. Maggie stares, losing herself in thought. Then a
VOICE startles her.
Marry me, Maggie.
Maggie jumps and turns to see: DENNIS -- the kid from the high
school football team, popping up from a low position near the
I am going to propose, you know. I
mean, the right way. Soon as I turn
You're sweet, Dennis. But you've got
to go. I'm closing up. Here's a candy
bar and one for your brother.
Dennis takes the candy and starts to go.
I'm not giving up. A person shouldn't
Dennis exits. Maggie is alone. She turns out the lamp she
designed, then on again. She turns off the other lamp on the
counter and exits. We hold on Maggie's designed lamp.
INT. IKE'S HALLWAY AND APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ike walks up to his door, carrying his mail and a bag of
carryout. He opens the door and walks into his apartment. He
pets Italics, who sits on his sofa bed. Without taking off his
coat, he goes to his keyboard and plays music as he CHUFFAS to
his cat about marriage and divorce.
INT. MAGGIE'S HOUSE - DAY
Dad and Grandma Julia are there. Grandma is making lunch.
Walter is juggling oranges. There's glass of beer on the
That's Maggie. Home for lunch.
She's been doing this since the last
wedding. I don't think it's good.
Maggie walks in and kisses Grandma on the cheek.
Hey. Grandma, what's for lunch?
Turkey and cheese.
Honey, your grandmother and I were
thinking about opening a wedding gift
Walter looks at his daughter in surprise. He's never heard a
tone like this in her voice before.
Just stop it. Don't say another word
(putting down the oranges)
Maggie, it's just a joke...
No. It's my life.
A harmless joke.
No, it's humiliating and you've been
doing it since I was a kid. I don't
like it. Stop. You may not like
having a daughter with problems. But
guess what? I don't like having a
father who's drunk all the time. I'll
eat in my room.
Maggie takes a plate and exits.
That needed to be said. You know --
you're always making jokes about her,
so they won't make jokes about your
INT. IKE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Ike goes out on his terrace. He bounces a basketball. It
doesn't bounce. He sits on the steps of the patio an stares.
INT. MAGGIE'S WORKROOM/GYM - DAY
Maggie is kickboxing.
INT. MAGGIE'S WORKROOM/GYM - ANOTHER DAY
Maggie is a bit melancholy as she works on her lamps.
INT. IKE'S APARTMENT - ANOTHER DAY
Ike quietly sits in bed writing and staring into space thinking.
His cat sits on the windowsill.
INT. MAGGIE'S WORKROOM/GYM - NIGHT
Maggie jumps rope barefooted late at night.
I need a plan... A plan to life... What
would Bruce Lee do? He'd kick some
INT. MAGGIE'S KITCHEN - DAY
Maggie in front of plates full of all sorts of types of eggs --
scrambled, poached, sunny-side up, Benedict, soft boiled, etc
-- sits on the kitchen counter. She ties them all.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY
Establishing shot. Two MEN try to fix the engine of a taxi
outside the restaurant.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DUSK
Eke walks by the T-shirt Vendor, goes into a subway station.
EXT. ANOTHER STREET - DUSK
Ike crosses a busy street where a MAN is being arrested. Ike is
passing the upscale "Millennium Hardware Store". He glances at
the window, looks away, stops and looks again. The window
display is made up of an assortment of Maggie's lamps. Logo
"MAG" is on them. He smiles and walks on.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK RESERVOIR - DUSK
Ike stares out at water as he walks.
EXT. IKE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Ike walks along sidewalk, crosses street, enters his building.
INT. IKE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ike opens the door to his apartment and flicks on the lights. He
crosses to hang his coat in the closet. In the closet mirror, he
sees and is stunned to find: MAGGIE, sitting on the couch
holding Italics, the cat.
He closes the closet and crosses to his desk.
Don't tell me. My doorman is one of
your many admires... I knew I should
have given him a better Christmas gift.
Maggie smiles tenuously. She's more than a little terrified.
I've been making friends with your cat.
Is it okay that I'm here?
I don't have much choice in the matter
now, do I? But I can't speak for
He moves to the kitchen.
I don't blame you for being mad...
Ike looks at her. Apparently the word "mad" is an understatement.
... Or... furious.
Ike looks at her again.
... Irate? Livid? How's that?
He starts putting cat food in a bowl. The cat leaves Maggie's
side and starts to east.
Livid is good. So what is it, Maggie?
You here on business? I saw your lamps.
It's something I've always wanted to do.
Ike leaves the kitchen, turns on the balcony lights and re-enters
the living room from the balcony.
You actually could make breaking and
entering into a new career.
the glass doors)
So, what are you doing here?
I wanted to talk to you about why I run
or ride away from things.
Ike moves away from her and sits on the steps near the balcony
Does it matter?
I think so... When I was walking down
the aisle? I was walking toward
somebody who didn't have any idea who I
really was. And it was only half the
other person's fault, because I had
done everything to convince him that I
was exactly what he wanted. So it was
good that I didn't go through with it
because it would have been a lie, but
you -- you knew the real me.
Yes, I did.
I didn't. And you being the one at the
end of the aisle didn't just fix that.
Ike takes this in. She's reaching him -- but then the defenses
go back up. He turns to her.
No, I couldn't fix anything...
(as he gets up)
But I still ended up chasing a truck.
Ike moves out to the balcony. After a moment, Maggie follows him.
EXT. BALCONY/IKE'SAPARTMENT - NIGHT
The balcony overlooks Central Park. The twinkling lights of the
city stretch out across the beautiful night. Ike looks out at
the view with his back to Maggie as she speaks.
I understand why you bring up the truck.
Let me explain something. The fact is,
you've seen me at my worst, most
embarrassing, deviously plotting,
potentially but not certifiably,
psychotic state. And if you liked me
then, I mean, now... I can't imagine...
(crosses to him)
Ike has no response.
I love eggs Benedict. I hate all the
... I hate big weddings with everybody
staring. I would like to get married
on a weekday while everybody is at work.
If I ride off into the sunset, I want
my own horse.
Should I be writing this down?
She returns to the balcony and hands him the box.
These are for you.
He opens it. It's her running shoes.
They're mine. I'm turning in my
running shoes to you.
This is getting serious.
Now she is glowing at him, shining with the full force of her.
And one more thing. I know it's hard
to believe there could be more. Um...
Maggie glances around and spots a DECK CHAIR, which she turns so
it is facing the city lights. Then she softly says:
If you could have a seat, please.
Ike sits. Maggie takes the box from him and puts it aide. And
then she gets down on one knee.
Oh my God. No.
Maggie smiles up at him. Ike tips his head back and covers his
eyes with his hand.
No, no -- don't hide your face, this
only happens once in a lifetime. It's
definitely a first to me, and you're
not going to want to miss it.
He smiles as he looks at Maggie.
I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham.
Will you marry me?
Ike swallows, overwhelmed, overjoyed, and scared shitless.
Maggie, I gotta think about this a
Maggie hops cheerfully back to her feet.
She gets off her knees and stands.
I was hoping you'd say that.
You were not.
I was, because if you said "yes" right
away, I wouldn't get to say this next
part. And I've been practicing it.
(pulling up a chair
"I guarantee that we'll have tough
times. I guarantee that at some point
one or both oof us will want to get out.
But I also guarantee that if I don't
ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for
the rest of my life. Because I know in
my heart -- you're the only one for me".
Ike takes her hands affectionately.
Pretty good speech, Maggie.
I borrowed it from this guy I know.
Ike looks into Maggie's shining face and pauses. He gets up and
motions with his hand for her to stay seated. He goes inside and
turns on some music. The cat is sitting by the radio. He
returns to the balcony and takes Maggie's hand.
Dance with me.
They start to dance a slow dance.
EXT. LARGE GREEN FIELD - DAY
We see a hill and on top of it is a Pastor marrying Maggie and
Ike, in beautiful wedding attire. We see Maggie walk down a
leaf-lined aisle to a waiting Ike. They kiss as we hear the vows
and hear them each say "I do". They kiss a twirling, whirling
kiss, a circular kiss. We hear the applause of about twenty
people. Slowly, we see the twenty people come over the crest of
the hill. They are all Maggie's family and friends, plus the
old grooms. They are all paired in twos, like a love Noah's ark.
We see others get the news.
INT. CHURCH - DAY
Priest Brian hears about Maggie's wedding.
INT. BAKERY - DAY
Mrs. Trout hears about Maggie's wedding.
INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY
George, Groom #3, hears about Maggie's wedding.
INT. ELLIE'S OFFICE OR APARTMENT - DAY
Ellie and Fisher hear about Maggie's wedding.
EXT. FIELD - DAY
Maggie and Ike finally break the kiss. Ike takes her hand and
walks her to two horses. Ike and Maggie, on the two horses, ride
off happily in their wedding clothes. As the group cheers,
Maggie throws bouquet. We see it float in the air.
FADE TO BLACK.