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expecting her to share her joy. Mrs. Whittenmeyer darkens.


MRS. WHITTENMEYER

(to Polly)

Polly, take Leslie into change.

(then, to Maggie)

But the one you have on hold is lovely.
MAGGIE

(pleasantly)

Yes. But I've changed my mind.
MRS. WHITTENMEYER

It's one thousand dollars.


Maggie is keenly aware of Ike listening in.
MAGGIE

I have one thousand dollars.


MRS. WHITTENMEYER

(firmly)

The other one is only three hundred

dollars.


Maggie lowers her voice, hoping to lessen the humiliation of the

moment.
MAGGIE

Is this dress for sale?
MRS. WHITTENMEYER

It just seems like an awful lot of

money to spend on one of your dresses,

Maggie... You only wear them for about

ten minutes.
Ike watches with regret as Maggie's child-like enthusiasm

drains away, her happy mood crushed by the tactless assault of

the shop owner. He's starting to see that it's no always easy

being Maggie. There's a tremor in her voice.


MAGGIE

Yeah, that's a good point.

(then, sitting)

The other dress is nice.


Ike calls out to Mrs. Whittenmeyer.
IKE

Mrs. Whittenmeyer. May I talk to you

for a second?
She walks over to him.
IKE (cont'd)

I don't know much about this kind of

thing. I'm from out of town. You're a

salesperson, right? You're here to

sell wedding dresses.
MRS. WHITTENMEYER

(huffy)


Yes. I've been here for thirty years.
IKE

Perfect. Because Miss Carpenter is

here to buy one. But not just any one.

She wants that one.


MRS. WHITTENMEYER

It's a thousand dollars!


Ike goes over and takes the mannequin out of the window. Mrs.

Whittenmeyer catches the wig as he puts the mannequin under his

arm.
IKE (cont'd)

Look, Aunt Bea, we're buying this

beautiful dress and anything else she

wants or I'm coming back here with a

squirt gun filled with India ink.
Mrs. Whittenmeyer wilts under Ike's fierce gaze. She turns to

Maggie.
MRS. WHITTENMEYER

Will he really do that?
Maggie gives her a look.
MR. WHITTENMEYER (cont'd)

(to Maggie)

Well, why don't you pick out some

accessories while I get this ready,

dear. Polly, will you come help me,

please?
Polly comes to help carry the mannequin away.


ANGLE ON POLLY AND MRS. WHITTENMEYER:
POLLY

(whispering to Mrs. Whittenmeyer)

It's a thousand dollars.
MRS. WHITTENMEYER

Shhhh! The man has ink!


Maggie looks gratefully at Ike.
IKE

Tough to spend money in this town.


TIME CUT: A FEW MINUTES LATER:
Ike sits as he hears Maggie's voice behind him.
MAGGIE (o.s.)

What do you think?


Ike turns around. Maggie is standing on the pedestal, wearing

the dress and looking unbelievably gorgeous. She is overwhelming

to behold and Ike has to struggle to keep his face under control.
IKE

(stammering)

You look... uh... You look fine.
MAGGIE

Fine. The newspaper's upside down.

That's better than fine.
IKE

Bob will be very happy.


She glows. Then the moment between them is broken as she

suddenly remembers something and grabs the veil off her head.


MAGGIE

Bob! I almost forgot! I have to meet

Bob!
INT. DINER - DAY
This is a great place -- a major hub of social life in Hale. The

food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is the waitress, and the

CROWD the essence of what is wonderful about a small town. Bob,

Maggie and Ike sit on the counter. Mrs. Pressman CHUFFS about

the luau, then moves around the corner.
BOB

Mrs. Pressman, I think we're ready to

order.
MRS. PRESSMAN

We're out the special because

somebody...

(indicates COOK with head)

... didn't order enough sausage.
BOB

Let me have the garden omelette. Egg

whites only.
Ike looks at Maggie. He'd bet a thousand bucks on what she'd say

next.
MAGGIE

I'll have the same.
IKE

(clears his throat)

Of course.
MAGGIE

What was that? I can't order my eggs

without sarcasm?
BOB

Neutral corners you two. You're on the

same team now. Any more fighting and

it's fifteen minutes in the penalty box.

(gently, to Ike)

Maggie's the nicest person you'll ever

meet. But she's always focusing out

there. She's got to start focusing

more in here.

(taps his chest)

That's why she's had some -- whatever

you want to call it -- problems in the

past.

(to Maggie)



That's what we're working on -- focus.

Right, Maggie? Focus on Maggie. Focus

on Bob.
As Bob has been talking, Ike has been watching Maggie's face.

The joy seems to have drained out of her.


MAGGIE

(quietly)

Right.
BOB

(to Ike)

I lead Maggie through a visualization

exercise. All the sports shrinks use

this head stuff. Visualize the end

zone, if you catch my drift.


Bob takes out a notepad and hands it to Maggie.
BOB (cont'd)

Here's today's mantra: "It's an open

field to Big Bob."
IKE

Tell me. When you get to the altar,

will you spike the bouquet?
MAGGIE

You know, there's no...


Before Maggie can finish, Ike intercepts her.
IKE

Well, I'm off. A reporter's work is

never done.

(heading to the door)

Mrs. Pressman, thank you.
MRS. PRESSMAN

Tootaloo.


INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER
GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.)

I'd like to explain about the weddings.

There are reasons why they didn't come

off. Three weddings, no "I do's". You

can't believe how much cake we were

left with. I should weigh three

hundred pounds. I don't think her

father minded spending so much money on

booze that nobody drank.
We hear Grandma as through the hotel doors, we see Maggie exit

the diner. She gets a bag from inside the cab of her truck and

comes inside the hotel where she finds Ike talking to Grandma,

who is having tea with her friend, NETTA.


MAGGIE

Ike... Hi, Grandma.


IKE

Gram here was going to give me the

skinny on why you run from marital

bliss.
GRANDMA JULIA

Right, cover your ears, Netta. It's

not that she's afraid of the wedding,

she's afraid of the wedding night.

Innocent girls are terrified of "the

one-eyed snake".

(getting into it)

Why, when I was a virgin bride, I took

a knitting needle with me into the bed...


Ike winces.
MAGGIE

Actually, Grandma, I charmed the one-

eyed snake awhile ago.
GRANDMA JULIA

Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'll tell you one

thing, your grandpa didn't forget that

wedding night.

(no Netta)

You can take your hands off your ears,

Netta. Your tea's getting cold.
MAGGIE

Can you excuse us a minute?

(then to Ike)

May I have a word with you, please?


Maggie moves toward door.
IKE

Bye, Netta... Bye, Grandam.


He steps over to Maggie in the doorway.
MAGGIE

I found this and didn't know if it was

something interesting.
Maggie hands Ike a 30-year-old LP: Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue."
IKE

(excited)

Oh, my God -- It's Miles Davis. This

is "King of Blue"! This is the

original recording. Hard to find in

good condition. Where did you find

this?
MAGGIE

(casual)

It was in the attic. It was jus

sitting there gathering dust.


IKE

It's valuable. Hang onto it.


MAGGIE

No. You take it.


She steps outside, leaving Ike with the record.
IKE

Hmmm... Figuring out what kind of music

I like and then finding me a rare album.

You're not trying to soften me up, are

you?
MAGGIE

No -- I'm cleaning an attic. I

wouldn't attempt the impossible.
She turns and walks back to the diner where Mrs. Pressman is

outside watering plants. Ike looks after Maggie and then back

down at the record in his hand. Somehow it makes him sad.
CUT TO:
INT. IKE'S CAR - LATER THAT DAY
Ike drives through Hale gobbling french fries from the fast food

bag in his lap. Ike passes THE INN HALE BAR, same dump of a

tavern he talked to bartender at.
ANGLE ON: MAGGIE'S CAR parked a few cars down. He pulls over

and parks. He gets out and speaks into his tape recorder.


INT./EXT. THE INN HALE BAR -- DAY
Ike approaches the window of the bar. There's a DRUNK MAN and a

DOG sitting outside. Inside, we see two figures from the back,

arms around each other. One is definitely Maggie. The other is

definitely not Bob.


MAGGIE

(coaxing)

C'mon. Let's go.
As Maggie helps the man get up, we see that it's Walter, Maggie's

father -- dead drunk.


WALTER

(belligerently)

I haven't had any fun since you got

your driver's license...


They stumble and lurch, exiting the bar toward Maggie's car.
MAGGIE

I'm not exactly having fun, either...

Steady.
WALTER

(to Dog)

Good boy, Port Hole.
MAGGIE

His name is Skipper, Dad... Steady.


WALTER

I changed it.

(then to Drunk)

See you later, Mr. Travis.

(then to Maggie)

That guy has a problem... Maggie, you

can run everyone's life but your own.

Maggie's having trouble keeping him steady as she opens the car

door. Ike is there in a flash to help her pull Walter into the

car.
WALTER (cont'd)

Good daughters let their fathers pass

out.
Walter passes out on the front seat.


MAGGIE

(without difficulty)


Ike... Please don't write anything

about this --


IKE

No. Forget about it. Don't even think

about it.
Maggie looks at him with real gratitude. She swings the car

door shut.


MAGGIE

Watch your leg, Dad.

(then to Ike)

I'm so tired of this.


IKE

Why don't you let him sleep it off in

the trunk. I'll take you for a ride.

Then we'll come back for him.

(to Drunk on bench)

Keep an eye on him.


DRUNK MAN

I'm too loaded.


IKE

I was talking to the dog.

(turning to Maggie)

All right?


Maggie thinks about this for a moment. She takes a deep breath.
MAGGIE

Okay... I'll just grab my jacket.


CUT TO:
EXT. ROAD - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT
Establishing of Ike's car driving.
INT. IKE'S CAR - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT
Maggie and Ike ride along.
IKE

My dad managed a business and two

mistresses. He wanted me to be a

novelist. More?


Maggie nods,
IKE (cont'd)

My mother wanted me to become a

musician. 0 for two. But at least

I'm a journalist and we all know

journalism is literature in a hurry.
EXT. IKE'S CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
Ike and Maggie stare forward. Both seem in melancholy moods.

They're beginning to sense they're in trouble here. Suddenly,

the car falters and jerks. It shows to a stop on the shoulder of

the road. The car backfires and smokes.


EXT. IKE'S CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
Ike and Maggie sit in the steaming car for a moment.
MAGGIE

Your filter's clogged. This takes

unleaded.
IKE

Can you fix it?


MAGGIE

First I have to find some tools. I

need a half and a nine-six-tenth.
IKE

(removing his glasses)

Of what?
MAGGIE

(in amazement)

Wrenches. My dad's gonna love that one.
Maggie slams the food closed.
IKE

Kind of isolated.


MAGGIE

Yeah. It's kind of nice.


An uncomfortable silent pause. Ike breaks the moment.
IKE

There's one thing we New Yorkers know

how to do is hail a cab. If there's no

cab, we walk.


Ike stares off down the road. Maggie indicates a building in

the distance, then turns off the car lights.


MAGGIE

I can get some tools over there.... and

save the battery... There's one thing

we country girls know how to do is cut

across a field. It's quicker.
Maggie points diagonally across the field to where a gas station

sign glows and the lights from the outer house twinkle.


He smiles and follows her into the field.
MAGGIE (cont'd)

Be careful of snakes.


IKE

Snakes? Are you serious? I don't like

snakes. I've never even seen a snake.
He steps carefully into the field, then hops gingerly toward Maggie.
MOMENTS LATER
Maggie leads Ike through a cornfield.
MAGGIE

Do you think there's only one right

person for everybody?
Ike chooses his words carefully.
IKE

No. But I think attraction is too

often mistaken for rightness.

Attraction is very misleading. And if

it's mutual, it's well, terribly

distracting.


MAGGIE

Yes it is. And it doesn't mean

anything.
Ike nods as they come to a wooden fence. She puts her hand on

his shoulder. Ike puts his hands around her waits to give her a

boost over the top. We see the flicker of misunderstanding cross

Maggie's face at the initial contact. Neither of them moves --

forward or back, but the electricity is obvious.
ANGLE ON: Ike. His conflicted feelings are apparent. With

difficulty, Maggie straightens up and they both quickly remove

their hands.
MAGGIE (cont'd)

(lightly)

I suddenly forgot how to climb a fence.
They look at each other for a moment, then:
MAGGIE AND IKE

(breaking the

moment jokingly)

"Tools".


She climbs over the fence on her own and Ike follows. They see

an old guy, LIONEL, whittling on a porch.


MAGGIE (cont'd)

Lionel, can I borrow some tools?


IKE

Yeah, we need a half and nine-

sixteenths.
LIONEL

Gonna bust out of another wedding?


IKE

You're sure well known around here.


EXT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S BUILDING - THE NEXT DAY
Establishing shot.
INT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S KITCHEN (NYC) - DAY
INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
INTERCUT BETWEEN TWO LOCATIONS:
Ike sits on his bed, on the phone, working and eating his

breakfast. He's watching Maggie's wedding tape again. Fisher

is cooking an elaborate breakfast. Ellie rushes around getting

ready for work. He is on the phone to Ike.


FISHER

(into phone)

Yes, well, my theory was that she may

be running because she gets attention...

Negative attention is attention.

Like when women whack you on the street

because of your column, that's negative

attention.


IKE (V.O.)

This is about her negative attention,

not mine. Did you get the

reimbursement for the dress yet?


FISHER

(into phone)

No, I'm paying for the dress. Do you

think she's still gonna run?


IKE (V.O.)

I don't know.


Ellie enters the kitchen, hears the question and shakes her head

to herself. If only these boys would give it up.


INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
He is finding it very hard to gloat. Fisher is annoying him.
IKE

(into phone)

Look -- I'll be in there later today.

I'll come by and tell you all about it.


FISHER (V.O.)

You're coming here?


IKE

(into phone)

Yeah.
FISHER (V.O.)

Then come for dinner.


IKE

(into phone)

Okay, we'll order out.
FISHER (V.O.)

Order out like a Philistine, when you

got the Galloping Gourmet here?...
Ike hangs up and watches more of the George Swilling wedding

video.
INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY


The bar from the opening scene. GEORGE SWILLING, the same man

Ike talked to before, is sitting on a stool, nursing his drink.

He looks better. Ike enters. George looks up and recognizes

Ike, who takes the bar stool next to him.


IKE

Get this man a Kamikaze.


GEORGE

Splendid dissection of Maggie Carpenter,

very professional job.
Ike sits and leans over to George.
IKE

(whispers)

You could have told me you were fiance

number three.


GEORGE

And end up in the papers? I've been

humiliated enough already to last a

lifetime, thank you. I'm sorry she got

you canned.
IKE

Thanks.
GEORGE

She's a cacophony of contradictions.
IKE

Well, I'm writing another article on

the cacophony.
GEORGE

Ah, can't stay away from her, can you?

Like a moth to a flame.
IKE

Guess you'd know about that. You're an

entomologist, right? How's business?
GEORGE

(taking a sip

of his drink)

Not bad. I was traveling around

studying the reproductive and migratory

patterns of locusts when Maggie met me.


IKE

(sarcastic)

Neuter a locust, feed the world.
GORGE

Not the world. Just Africa and China.


Ike wipes the smirk off his face. Like Maggie's other men, this

guy has a worthy accomplishment under his belt.


GEORGE (cont'd)

You know Maggie was the only girl I

ever met who would hold my tarantula.

On the first date.


IKE (cont'd)

So, tell me, George, why do you think

she ran?
GEORGE

Same as you said. What did you call

her? A "man-eater", "a devouring death

goddess."


IKE

I don't think that's why she ran.


GEORGE

Why do YOU think she ran?


Ike sips his drink before answering.
IKE

I don't know. I'm working on it. I

was on the wrong track.
GEORGE

And you defending her?


IKE

No. I call it like I see it. I'm a

journalist. I'm a truth teller.
GEORGE

Unbelievable, she got to you.


IKE

Oh, please!


GORGE

Join the club.

(passing him

his drink)

Here, you need this more than me.
George heads out.
IKE

(protecting, taking

his tape recorder

out of his pocket)

I'm writing an article, I'm getting

paid to do this, it's going to be a

cover story, it's going to be published

... The facts will be read someday.


As George pauses in the doorway, Ike holds up his tape recorder.
IKE (cont'd)

What kind of eggs did she like?


GEORGE

Poached, just like me.


George exits.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEW YORK STREET/FISHER AND ELLIE'S BUILDING - DAY
Ike walks down a street toward Ellie and Fisher.
CUT TO:
INT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S APARTMENT (NYC) - NIGHT
Ellie is on the phone as Fisher enters with beer. Ike sits at

the piano.


FISHER

(sarcastically)

Overpriced nice apartment and Chinese

takeout. That's New York living.


ELLIE

(into phone)

... Just call me when you have it.

(hangs up, then to Fisher)

Ike, how is the story coming? Is she a

man-eater?


FISHER

Or a vegetarian?


ELLIE

Or does she pick "NGB'S" -- "Nice Guys,

But..." Nice guys, but I'm cheap.

Nice guys, but he lives with his mom...

Nice guys, but he just out of prison.
IKE

No... They're interesting guys. Each

one of these guys has something going

for him. I mean, one's been up Everest.

Another's become a priest. One's a

pretty good guitar player. And this

guy today tried to end world hunger, if

you can believe that...


FISHER

Whoa, Ike. Getting a complex, buddy?


ELLIE

Fisher, let him talk.


IKE

(sits)


But one of those guys -- not one of

them -- knew her at all. Each one was

convinced that she was perfect for them,

but they didn't see her. And she never

showed up so they couldn't see her.

It's a very symbolic thing happening.

She becomes what she thinks they wanted

to be.
Fisher doesn't like the sound of this. He glances at Ellie, who

is looking very interested.
FISHER

(in shock)

Ike is turning sensitive and I can't

bear to watch. I'm going to make a

fresh pot of tea.
The phone rings as Fisher exits. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie

picks up the phone.


ELLIE

(into phone)

Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye.

(hangs up, then yells to Fisher)

Fisher, don't forget the fortune

cookies.


She joins Ike at the piano. Ike gets serious.
IKE

Is that what I did to you? Is that

what happened? Did I just not see

you?
ELLIE

No. No, you didn't.
He hugs her.
IKE

(heartfelt)

Well -- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry,

Ellie.
ELLIE

I'm sorry, too.

(beat)


Wow. That only took us between years

to say.
Ellie blinks back sentimental tears.


CUT TO:
EXT. TROUT'S BARN - THE NEXT NIGHT
We hear Hawaiian music. We see a truck with GUESTS drive up and

HULA DANCERS through barn slats.


INT. TROUT'S BARN - NIGHT
It's a small barn that's been converted into a luau with a bar.

A BAND plays for two hula dancers. The Trouts had decorated it

as a little slice of Hawaii. There are tiki lights, numerous

rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of Hawaiian

statuary. Strings of colored lights crisscross the ceiling.

It looks like a Hawaiian high school gym on prom night.


Maggie's family, Mrs. Trout and people we've already met, and

more, are here, milling around wit tropical drinks garnished

with umbrellas. Plastic leis abound and most people have

managed to find their old Hawaiian shirts.


As we come in, the hula dancers finish their applause and Mrs.

Trout announces. Hula dancers stop.


LOU TROUT

Welcome to our annual country luau. As

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