expecting her to share her joy. Mrs. Whittenmeyer darkens.
Polly, take Leslie into change.
(then, to Maggie)
But the one you have on hold is lovely.
Yes. But I've changed my mind.
It's one thousand dollars.
Maggie is keenly aware of Ike listening in.
I have one thousand dollars.
The other one is only three hundred
Maggie lowers her voice, hoping to lessen the humiliation of the
Is this dress for sale?
It just seems like an awful lot of
money to spend on one of your dresses,
Maggie... You only wear them for about
Ike watches with regret as Maggie's child-like enthusiasm
drains away, her happy mood crushed by the tactless assault of
the shop owner. He's starting to see that it's no always easy
being Maggie. There's a tremor in her voice.
Yeah, that's a good point.
The other dress is nice.
Ike calls out to Mrs. Whittenmeyer.
Mrs. Whittenmeyer. May I talk to you
for a second?
She walks over to him.
I don't know much about this kind of
thing. I'm from out of town. You're a
salesperson, right? You're here to
sell wedding dresses.
Yes. I've been here for thirty years.
Perfect. Because Miss Carpenter is
here to buy one. But not just any one.
She wants that one.
It's a thousand dollars!
Ike goes over and takes the mannequin out of the window. Mrs.
Whittenmeyer catches the wig as he puts the mannequin under his
Look, Aunt Bea, we're buying this
beautiful dress and anything else she
wants or I'm coming back here with a
squirt gun filled with India ink.
Mrs. Whittenmeyer wilts under Ike's fierce gaze. She turns to
Will he really do that?
Maggie gives her a look.
MR. WHITTENMEYER (cont'd)
Well, why don't you pick out some
accessories while I get this ready,
dear. Polly, will you come help me,
Polly comes to help carry the mannequin away.
ANGLE ON POLLY AND MRS. WHITTENMEYER:
(whispering to Mrs. Whittenmeyer)
It's a thousand dollars.
Shhhh! The man has ink!
Maggie looks gratefully at Ike.
Tough to spend money in this town.
TIME CUT: A FEW MINUTES LATER:
Ike sits as he hears Maggie's voice behind him.
What do you think?
Ike turns around. Maggie is standing on the pedestal, wearing
the dress and looking unbelievably gorgeous. She is overwhelming
to behold and Ike has to struggle to keep his face under control.
You look... uh... You look fine.
Fine. The newspaper's upside down.
That's better than fine.
Bob will be very happy.
She glows. Then the moment between them is broken as she
suddenly remembers something and grabs the veil off her head.
Bob! I almost forgot! I have to meet
INT. DINER - DAY
This is a great place -- a major hub of social life in Hale. The
food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is the waitress, and the
CROWD the essence of what is wonderful about a small town. Bob,
Maggie and Ike sit on the counter. Mrs. Pressman CHUFFS about
the luau, then moves around the corner.
Mrs. Pressman, I think we're ready to
We're out the special because
(indicates COOK with head)
... didn't order enough sausage.
Let me have the garden omelette. Egg
Ike looks at Maggie. He'd bet a thousand bucks on what she'd say
I'll have the same.
(clears his throat)
What was that? I can't order my eggs
Neutral corners you two. You're on the
same team now. Any more fighting and
it's fifteen minutes in the penalty box.
(gently, to Ike)
Maggie's the nicest person you'll ever
meet. But she's always focusing out
there. She's got to start focusing
more in here.
(taps his chest)
That's why she's had some -- whatever
you want to call it -- problems in the
That's what we're working on -- focus.
Right, Maggie? Focus on Maggie. Focus
As Bob has been talking, Ike has been watching Maggie's face.
The joy seems to have drained out of her.
I lead Maggie through a visualization
exercise. All the sports shrinks use
this head stuff. Visualize the end
zone, if you catch my drift.
Bob takes out a notepad and hands it to Maggie.
Here's today's mantra: "It's an open
field to Big Bob."
Tell me. When you get to the altar,
will you spike the bouquet?
You know, there's no...
Before Maggie can finish, Ike intercepts her.
Well, I'm off. A reporter's work is
(heading to the door)
Mrs. Pressman, thank you.
INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER
GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.)
I'd like to explain about the weddings.
There are reasons why they didn't come
off. Three weddings, no "I do's". You
can't believe how much cake we were
left with. I should weigh three
hundred pounds. I don't think her
father minded spending so much money on
booze that nobody drank.
We hear Grandma as through the hotel doors, we see Maggie exit
the diner. She gets a bag from inside the cab of her truck and
comes inside the hotel where she finds Ike talking to Grandma,
who is having tea with her friend, NETTA.
Ike... Hi, Grandma.
Gram here was going to give me the
skinny on why you run from marital
Right, cover your ears, Netta. It's
not that she's afraid of the wedding,
she's afraid of the wedding night.
Innocent girls are terrified of "the
(getting into it)
Why, when I was a virgin bride, I took
a knitting needle with me into the bed...
Actually, Grandma, I charmed the one-
eyed snake awhile ago.
Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'll tell you one
thing, your grandpa didn't forget that
You can take your hands off your ears,
Netta. Your tea's getting cold.
Can you excuse us a minute?
(then to Ike)
May I have a word with you, please?
Maggie moves toward door.
Bye, Netta... Bye, Grandam.
He steps over to Maggie in the doorway.
I found this and didn't know if it was
Maggie hands Ike a 30-year-old LP: Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue."
Oh, my God -- It's Miles Davis. This
is "King of Blue"! This is the
original recording. Hard to find in
good condition. Where did you find
It was in the attic. It was jus
sitting there gathering dust.
It's valuable. Hang onto it.
No. You take it.
She steps outside, leaving Ike with the record.
Hmmm... Figuring out what kind of music
I like and then finding me a rare album.
You're not trying to soften me up, are
No -- I'm cleaning an attic. I
wouldn't attempt the impossible.
She turns and walks back to the diner where Mrs. Pressman is
outside watering plants. Ike looks after Maggie and then back
down at the record in his hand. Somehow it makes him sad.
INT. IKE'S CAR - LATER THAT DAY
Ike drives through Hale gobbling french fries from the fast food
bag in his lap. Ike passes THE INN HALE BAR, same dump of a
tavern he talked to bartender at.
ANGLE ON: MAGGIE'S CAR parked a few cars down. He pulls over
and parks. He gets out and speaks into his tape recorder.
INT./EXT. THE INN HALE BAR -- DAY
Ike approaches the window of the bar. There's a DRUNK MAN and a
DOG sitting outside. Inside, we see two figures from the back,
arms around each other. One is definitely Maggie. The other is
definitely not Bob.
C'mon. Let's go.
As Maggie helps the man get up, we see that it's Walter, Maggie's
father -- dead drunk.
I haven't had any fun since you got
your driver's license...
They stumble and lurch, exiting the bar toward Maggie's car.
I'm not exactly having fun, either...
Good boy, Port Hole.
His name is Skipper, Dad... Steady.
I changed it.
(then to Drunk)
See you later, Mr. Travis.
(then to Maggie)
That guy has a problem... Maggie, you
can run everyone's life but your own.
Maggie's having trouble keeping him steady as she opens the car
door. Ike is there in a flash to help her pull Walter into the
Good daughters let their fathers pass
Walter passes out on the front seat.
Ike... Please don't write anything
about this --
No. Forget about it. Don't even think
Maggie looks at him with real gratitude. She swings the car
Watch your leg, Dad.
(then to Ike)
I'm so tired of this.
Why don't you let him sleep it off in
the trunk. I'll take you for a ride.
Then we'll come back for him.
(to Drunk on bench)
Keep an eye on him.
I'm too loaded.
I was talking to the dog.
(turning to Maggie)
Maggie thinks about this for a moment. She takes a deep breath.
Okay... I'll just grab my jacket.
EXT. ROAD - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT
Establishing of Ike's car driving.
INT. IKE'S CAR - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT
Maggie and Ike ride along.
My dad managed a business and two
mistresses. He wanted me to be a
My mother wanted me to become a
musician. 0 for two. But at least
I'm a journalist and we all know
journalism is literature in a hurry.
EXT. IKE'S CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
Ike and Maggie stare forward. Both seem in melancholy moods.
They're beginning to sense they're in trouble here. Suddenly,
the car falters and jerks. It shows to a stop on the shoulder of
the road. The car backfires and smokes.
EXT. IKE'S CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
Ike and Maggie sit in the steaming car for a moment.
Your filter's clogged. This takes
Can you fix it?
First I have to find some tools. I
need a half and a nine-six-tenth.
(removing his glasses)
Wrenches. My dad's gonna love that one.
Maggie slams the food closed.
Kind of isolated.
Yeah. It's kind of nice.
An uncomfortable silent pause. Ike breaks the moment.
There's one thing we New Yorkers know
how to do is hail a cab. If there's no
cab, we walk.
Ike stares off down the road. Maggie indicates a building in
the distance, then turns off the car lights.
I can get some tools over there.... and
save the battery... There's one thing
we country girls know how to do is cut
across a field. It's quicker.
Maggie points diagonally across the field to where a gas station
sign glows and the lights from the outer house twinkle.
He smiles and follows her into the field.
Be careful of snakes.
Snakes? Are you serious? I don't like
snakes. I've never even seen a snake.
He steps carefully into the field, then hops gingerly toward Maggie.
Maggie leads Ike through a cornfield.
Do you think there's only one right
person for everybody?
Ike chooses his words carefully.
No. But I think attraction is too
often mistaken for rightness.
Attraction is very misleading. And if
it's mutual, it's well, terribly
Yes it is. And it doesn't mean
Ike nods as they come to a wooden fence. She puts her hand on
his shoulder. Ike puts his hands around her waits to give her a
boost over the top. We see the flicker of misunderstanding cross
Maggie's face at the initial contact. Neither of them moves --
forward or back, but the electricity is obvious.
ANGLE ON: Ike. His conflicted feelings are apparent. With
difficulty, Maggie straightens up and they both quickly remove
I suddenly forgot how to climb a fence.
They look at each other for a moment, then:
MAGGIE AND IKE
She climbs over the fence on her own and Ike follows. They see
an old guy, LIONEL, whittling on a porch.
Lionel, can I borrow some tools?
Yeah, we need a half and nine-
Gonna bust out of another wedding?
You're sure well known around here.
EXT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S BUILDING - THE NEXT DAY
INT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S KITCHEN (NYC) - DAY
INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
INTERCUT BETWEEN TWO LOCATIONS:
Ike sits on his bed, on the phone, working and eating his
breakfast. He's watching Maggie's wedding tape again. Fisher
is cooking an elaborate breakfast. Ellie rushes around getting
ready for work. He is on the phone to Ike.
Yes, well, my theory was that she may
be running because she gets attention...
Negative attention is attention.
Like when women whack you on the street
because of your column, that's negative
This is about her negative attention,
not mine. Did you get the
reimbursement for the dress yet?
No, I'm paying for the dress. Do you
think she's still gonna run?
I don't know.
Ellie enters the kitchen, hears the question and shakes her head
to herself. If only these boys would give it up.
INT. IKE'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
He is finding it very hard to gloat. Fisher is annoying him.
Look -- I'll be in there later today.
I'll come by and tell you all about it.
You're coming here?
Then come for dinner.
Okay, we'll order out.
Order out like a Philistine, when you
got the Galloping Gourmet here?...
Ike hangs up and watches more of the George Swilling wedding
INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY
The bar from the opening scene. GEORGE SWILLING, the same man
Ike talked to before, is sitting on a stool, nursing his drink.
He looks better. Ike enters. George looks up and recognizes
Ike, who takes the bar stool next to him.
Get this man a Kamikaze.
Splendid dissection of Maggie Carpenter,
very professional job.
Ike sits and leans over to George.
You could have told me you were fiance
And end up in the papers? I've been
humiliated enough already to last a
lifetime, thank you. I'm sorry she got
She's a cacophony of contradictions.
Well, I'm writing another article on
Ah, can't stay away from her, can you?
Like a moth to a flame.
Guess you'd know about that. You're an
entomologist, right? How's business?
(taking a sip
of his drink)
Not bad. I was traveling around
studying the reproductive and migratory
patterns of locusts when Maggie met me.
Neuter a locust, feed the world.
Not the world. Just Africa and China.
Ike wipes the smirk off his face. Like Maggie's other men, this
guy has a worthy accomplishment under his belt.
You know Maggie was the only girl I
ever met who would hold my tarantula.
On the first date.
So, tell me, George, why do you think
Same as you said. What did you call
her? A "man-eater", "a devouring death
I don't think that's why she ran.
Why do YOU think she ran?
Ike sips his drink before answering.
I don't know. I'm working on it. I
was on the wrong track.
And you defending her?
No. I call it like I see it. I'm a
journalist. I'm a truth teller.
Unbelievable, she got to you.
Join the club.
Here, you need this more than me.
George heads out.
his tape recorder
out of his pocket)
I'm writing an article, I'm getting
paid to do this, it's going to be a
cover story, it's going to be published
... The facts will be read someday.
As George pauses in the doorway, Ike holds up his tape recorder.
What kind of eggs did she like?
Poached, just like me.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET/FISHER AND ELLIE'S BUILDING - DAY
Ike walks down a street toward Ellie and Fisher.
INT. FISHER AND ELLIE'S APARTMENT (NYC) - NIGHT
Ellie is on the phone as Fisher enters with beer. Ike sits at
Overpriced nice apartment and Chinese
takeout. That's New York living.
... Just call me when you have it.
(hangs up, then to Fisher)
Ike, how is the story coming? Is she a
Or a vegetarian?
Or does she pick "NGB'S" -- "Nice Guys,
But..." Nice guys, but I'm cheap.
Nice guys, but he lives with his mom...
Nice guys, but he just out of prison.
No... They're interesting guys. Each
one of these guys has something going
for him. I mean, one's been up Everest.
Another's become a priest. One's a
pretty good guitar player. And this
guy today tried to end world hunger, if
you can believe that...
Whoa, Ike. Getting a complex, buddy?
Fisher, let him talk.
But one of those guys -- not one of
them -- knew her at all. Each one was
convinced that she was perfect for them,
but they didn't see her. And she never
showed up so they couldn't see her.
It's a very symbolic thing happening.
She becomes what she thinks they wanted
Fisher doesn't like the sound of this. He glances at Ellie, who
is looking very interested.
Ike is turning sensitive and I can't
bear to watch. I'm going to make a
fresh pot of tea.
The phone rings as Fisher exits. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie
picks up the phone.
Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye.
(hangs up, then yells to Fisher)
Fisher, don't forget the fortune
She joins Ike at the piano. Ike gets serious.
Is that what I did to you? Is that
what happened? Did I just not see
No. No, you didn't.
He hugs her.
Well -- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry,
I'm sorry, too.
Wow. That only took us between years
Ellie blinks back sentimental tears.
EXT. TROUT'S BARN - THE NEXT NIGHT
We hear Hawaiian music. We see a truck with GUESTS drive up and
HULA DANCERS through barn slats.
INT. TROUT'S BARN - NIGHT
It's a small barn that's been converted into a luau with a bar.
A BAND plays for two hula dancers. The Trouts had decorated it
as a little slice of Hawaii. There are tiki lights, numerous
rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of Hawaiian
statuary. Strings of colored lights crisscross the ceiling.
It looks like a Hawaiian high school gym on prom night.
Maggie's family, Mrs. Trout and people we've already met, and
more, are here, milling around wit tropical drinks garnished
with umbrellas. Plastic leis abound and most people have
managed to find their old Hawaiian shirts.
As we come in, the hula dancers finish their applause and Mrs.
Trout announces. Hula dancers stop.
Welcome to our annual country luau. As