Characters: Moses

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Sedrah Scene: Parshat Va’era

  • Moses

  • Pharaoh

  • Aaron

  • God

  • Narrator (aka Gossip Girl)

Prop: a stick (Aaron’s rod)
To the theme of the show Gossip Girl, narrator accounting the story in an objective, bystander tone with witty comments.

Narrator: Sedrah Scenes here, USY’s one and only source into the historic lives of the Torah’s elite. This week we see the origin for many of the infamous parts of the Passover story which we Jews have come to know—and love. Moses questions and condemns God for his allowance to let such misfortunes happen to the Israelites in Egypt. The Jews alike share in Moses’ belief and do not listen to M as he delivers G’s message. Looks like the Almighty One has some convincing to do.

Moses: (turns to God) Alright, since that last speech you gave me was a no-go, how do you expect me to convince Pharaoh we are worthy of freedom? My own people don’t believe the words you feed to me!

God: Calm down, Moses. You will use your brother Aaron as your spokesperson, as clearly you aren’t entirely fit for that job. I have things in store for the Pharaoh, anyway, so summon your brother and I will tell you of my plans.


Now Aaron, Moses, and Pharaoh congregate
Narrator: Pharaoh in his royal garb looks more intimidating than IC to a freshman. Will Aaron be able to persuade this resistant ruler into letting his people go?

Pharaoh: (scowls) Ugh, what on earth could you two be doing here…I gave you an answer: NO.

Aaron: Hear our plea, Pharaoh. Our God has more powers than you could have ever imagined yourself to have, so believe me when I say you don’t want to delay our freedom much longer.

Pharaoh: Prove to me this “divinity” you speak of and then perhaps I will consider a resolution.

Aaron: throws his rod to the ground

Everyone act like they just saw his rod turn into a snake; most reaction out of Pharaoh

Pharaoh: (regains his initial stature, folds arms across chest) Psh, this work of magic is something anyone could manipulate, and this I shall prove to you… (throws his own rod on the ground and his also turns into a snake; looks down proudly at his work) I’d say you’re going to have to do a little better to win me over.

Moses: We will back, Pharaoh. And we will be back with some of the utmost terrors this country has ever seen. Moses and Aaron leave Pharaoh

Narrator: Egypt’s delta shores should prepare for some high tides, high tides of blood that is.


Pharaoh, Moses, God, and
Narrator: Pharaoh stood in denial as Egyptians were up to their ankles in blood…until his magicians replicated the same act. Blood now only seems as a treat to this top dog’s ego. Next on God’s line-up is a swarm of frogs, something that makes Pharaoh leap off his lily pad and focus on helping his people.

Pharaoh: Please, please just make it stop! I’ll let you all leave, just stop!

Narrator: And so a cease to the frogs went, but a return to reality makes even the biggest of pleas return to their stubbornness. Back into the house of bondage the Israelites went as God sent plague after plague, but even after the itchy heads and even itchier boils, nothing scratched the firm beliefs of Pharaoh.

God: (seems a bit discouraged) Next on my line-up is hail, but I think after this one we’re going to have to talk real deal.

Moses: We just need something that will last long enough so he’ll stop recanting.

Aaron: So that’s our next task. For now let’s stay on plan with the hail.

Narrator: To think one level deeper is exactly what M and A need to do, as the hail had an unchanging effect on Pharaoh. But after all, one good plague deserves another. And what’s coming down next? A swarm of locusts, if God has anything to say about it. You know you love me…xoxo Sedrah Scenes.

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